It Happens
by WriteChristineR
Summary: Beckett isn't feeling well and Castle can tell.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

_Author's Note: This story has been distracting my attention for a long time now. So after roughly 293849859494 edits (I'm not usually a big editor, but for some reason this particular story kept asking for it), I think I'm finally ready to start putting it up here. To everyone who read/reviewed my first story, "Love and Confusion," thank you so much! I think I managed to respond to all the ones I could. I love and appreciate the feedback. So without further ado, my second-ever Castle story. Hope you like it!_

* * *

"Wow, you look ravishing this morning."

Her hair had been thrown into a hasty ponytail, and sections had already fallen out. Her eyeliner strayed a little from its intended path, and under her eyes were dark circles that were obviously not makeup-related. Her forehead rested on her hand as she halfheartedly sifted through the paperwork that had been piling up on her desk for at least a week. "Castle, I'm not in the mood," she said without even looking up.

"When are you ever? And when has that ever stopped me?"

She looked up from the page in front of her that she hadn't been reading anyway and looked him straight in the eye. "I don't feel good. Leave me alone."

He struggled for a brief moment, but was unable to restrain himself. "Well," he said. "You don't feel _well_."

"Fine, whatever." She looked back down at her papers.

He sat down in his usual chair in front of her desk, concern growing in his eyes now that he had moved past his grammatical impulse. "Are you sick? You should take the day off."

"No Castle, I'm not sick, I just don't feel _well_. I didn't get enough sleep last night, that's all."

He frowned. "I've seen you running on no sleep, and you looked better than you do now. No offense."

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine. Why don't you go bother Ryan and Esposito?" She sneezed.

"Not sick, huh?" He smirked.

"Allergies."

"Allergies are usually seasonal. I've been working with you for more than two years, I would've known if you had allergies. I notice everything."

She rolled her eyes. "I know."

"What's wrong?"

"You're not getting any more information than I already gave you. Apparently _that_ was too much."

"Okay fine, I'll do it myself. You're holding your head, so I'd say you have a headache, swallowing awkwardly, so your throat hurts, and it's like eighty degrees in here and you're wearing a sweater, so you probably have a fever."

"Thank you for that lovely diagnosis, Dr. Castle. Could you kindly go and mind your own business now?"

He raised his eyebrows. "In the two plus years that you've known me, when have I ever done that?"

"Fine, stay here and continue to watch my every move, just please be quiet."

If she'd demanded that he shut up, he would have pointed out that he'd never done that in the time she'd known him either, but she hadn't. The politeness of her reply worried him because it was so out of character for her. He could tell that she really wasn't feeling well. "Can I at least help you with something?" he asked instead.

"What, like signing my paperwork for me? No Castle, that would be illegal, and we are in a police station, in case you forgot."

"No, obviously not, but I could read it over for you and tell you what to write where. Speed reader, remember? We'd have it done in no time."

She sighed and slid the page that she'd been staring at for the past twenty minutes in his direction. "That would be great."

* * *

"Hey dude, what's going on there?" Esposito nodded toward Beckett's desk, where she and Castle were leaning over the same page.

Ryan shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. You don't think…"

"No way. He's probably just reading over her shoulder or something. He does that sometimes."

"There's been something going on there for awhile now."

"Well yeah, obviously, but I don't think they're gonna act on it. Not now, over paperwork."

"Hey, stuff happens in weird ways."

Esposito narrowed his eyes. "I don't want to hear the story about how you met your girlfriend again."

"I know dude, I wasn't going there."

"Mmhmm," Espisito said, doubtfully. He nodded toward Beckett. "She looks like crap today."

"What, are you checking her out?"

"Dude, no! It's Beckett. I'd tell you if you looked like crap, wouldn't mean I was checking you out. Now if I told you I liked your purse…"

"It's not a purse, it's a gym bag."

"What do you need a gym bag for, your bra?"

"Oh yeah, you're hilarious. Now if you don't mind I have tons of paperwork to finish filing, and…" Ryan nodded toward his friend's desk, "so do you."

* * *

"Last one. Okay, date here, sign here, and we're done."

"Thanks, Castle," she said as she wrote. "That actually helped. You can go home now. You probably have writing to do, right?"

He shook his head. "I always have writing to do, but that doesn't make a difference. I write when I want to write. Are you going home? We finished early. I'll walk out with you."

"No, I still have some stuff to get done here."

"Like what? You don't have a case right now and we just finished all your paperwork. What else is there?"

"I have to organize my desk."

Castle looked at the nearly clear desk surface, empty except for a couple of pens, and raised his eyebrows.

"And I have to be here in case I do get a case, or I need to help someone else. Ignore the case pun, it wasn't funny or intentional."

"You know, the whole concept of a sick day was invented with just this occasion in mind. Do you want _me_ to tell the captain you're going home early?"

She put a hand to her head and grimaced, as if in pain. "No Castle, I'm not. Go home. I will go home at the end of my shift, but right now there's nothing for you to do here, and all you're doing is making my headache worse."

He nodded. "Okay. But call me if you need anything," he said seriously. He took a few steps toward the door, but then turned back to face her. "Kate?"

She narrowed her eyes. "What now?"

"Feel better."

Her face softened. "Thanks."

* * *

"Richard dear, how was your day?" Martha asked as her son walked into the apartment. "Did you solve any murders?"

"No, today was actually pretty quiet."

"How's Detective Beckett?"

"She's sick."

"Oh, that explains why you're back so early," Martha said, looking at the clock. "She stayed home today?"

"No, she was there, but she was sick."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"That's what I kept trying to tell her, but she wouldn't listen to me. Not that she usually does."

"Well darling, maybe she'd rather be in a crowded precinct than at home by herself. I know when I'm sick I like to have people around to take care of me. You know, make sure I don't die."

Castle rolled his eyes. "Mother, this may surprise you, but you and Beckett have very little in common. You, for one, are extremely dramatic."

"Well, I am an actress."

"Yes, well, she's a cop. And another thing, you like to have people around you all the time. You live with me and Alexis, for God's sake. Beckett likes to have some time to herself."

"I understand that Richard, but I don't care who you are, there are some times when you just don't want to be alone."

He thought about how she'd seemed reluctant to leave work, but she had also told him to leave. "I don't know, Ryan and Esposito aren't exactly the most compassionate guys in the world."

She raised her eyebrows. "And you are?"

"Touché." He looked around for signs of his daughter. "Is Alexis home?"

"No, she's studying with Ashley."

He smiled. "Studying, huh?"

"She says she has a test next week."

"Oh. So she really is studying." He sat down at one of the stools at the kitchen counter. "I'm still thinking about Kate."

"Well, you're worried about her," Martha said.

"I'm not _worried _about her, it's not like she's dying."

"You don't have to think someone's dying to be worried about them, dear. I don't have to tell you this, you're a father. Have you ever actually thought Alexis was going to die?"

"No, of course not."

"Have you ever been worried about her?"

"Okay, I see your point. But what should I do?"

* * *

A/N: I will be eternally grateful for any and all reviews. Sorry about the cliffhanger (sort of... I like writing them), but I can promise the next chapter will be up soon because it's already mostly finished.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: For those of you who read this within a few hours of the time I posted it, I'm sorry! I did put breaks in between the scenes, but I used stars instead of the actual formatting lines that I guess I should've used, which used to work for me, but apparently they didn't come through for some reason. Since I get confused when I try to read it without the breaks and I wrote the thing, I can imagine you were probably irritated with me for that. I fixed it, and it won't happen again. Thanks again to the reviewer who pointed that out._

_Something else that was pointed out to me (thanks!): I really didn't give much of an idea of context here. Figure it's set somewhere around the beginning of the third season._

_To everyone who reviewed: thank you so much! I love getting feedback, it's incredibly rewarding. And I love how most of you seem to be enjoying my writing! I promise to do my best to keep it coming. This chapter just kept getting longer on me. Hope you like it!_

_

* * *

_

Kate collapsed on the couch as soon as she got to her apartment. She squeezed her eyelids shut, trying in vain to stop her head from throbbing. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this awful. She grabbed the blanket off of the back of the couch and covered herself with it. She thought sleeping would help, but her head was hurting too much to allow that to happen. She knew she should take something, but she was also positive she didn't have anything that would help in her medicine cabinet, and there was no way she was leaving the couch, let alone the apartment.

_"Call if you need anything,"_ she heard his voice in her head. She almost laughed. She would not call him. She just couldn't do it.

Her stomach growled. Crappy as she felt, apparently her appetite was unaffected. She got her phone out of her pocket and scrolled through her contacts in an effort to figure out what kind of food to order. She sneezed as she was scrolling and had to stop for a second, and she smiled involuntarily when she opened her eyes again and realized what was highlighted. Castle, Richard. She wasn't sure why, but she selected it.

His voice ran through her head again as she looked at the text message screen her phone had opened. _"Kate? Feel better."_ He didn't often call her Kate, but for some reason she wasn't exactly sure of, she liked it when he did. And for once, she _really_ wanted to take his advice.

She tried to press the back button on her phone to continue her restaurant search, but in her exhausted, semi-delirious state her finger must have slipped and she hit "send" instead. "No!" she said aloud, trying to cancel it. Her voice barely came out. _Great, now I'm losing my voice too_, she thought. Her phone read "message cancelled," and she breathed a sigh of relief. All she would have sent him was a blank text, but still, she didn't want him to know she'd been thinking about him at all, even if she was delirious. In fact, she didn't want him to know she was delirious.

She found her way back to her contacts, and this time skipped the browsing and went straight to the number of her favorite Chinese restaurant. But then she remembered what she'd discovered just a minute ago about her voice. "Hello?" she tried to say as a test, feeling ridiculous for talking to herself. It sounded like a strained whisper. She tried clearing her throat, but it hurt, and didn't seem to help her voice at all. "Great." She couldn't order food with her tiny shred of a voice, all the decent delivery places were staffed by people who barely spoke English. Clarity was a must.

She whimpered. She was hungry but she couldn't order food, and there was no way she was getting up to make anything. She was tired, but her head hurt too much to sleep. She was freezing and the light blanket she kept on the couch wasn't doing her much good. The only way she could possibly be more pathetic was if she called Castle, and that she would not do.

She couldn't figure out why she kept thinking of him, anyway. Although he was the only one who said so, she knew there were plenty of other people in her life that would drop whatever they were doing and bring her what she needed if she asked. Her best friend and the guy she was dating were both medical professionals for God's sake, and she knew that either one of them would come over immediately if she just called. But it was Friday night, and she was sure that Lanie had a date to get ready for after work, and the thought of Josh seeing her looking as unkempt and miserable as she was positive she did right now made her nauseous, a feeling completely unrelated to her sickness. Their relationship was still new. They were still blissfully ignorant of most of each other's imperfections, and she saw no reason for that to change just yet.

Then there was the fact that she was probably contagious and would feel terrible if she gave what she had to any other living human being. For the most part. She briefly had the idea that she should go back to the precinct and breathe on all the murder suspects in the holding cells, but she quickly dismissed that because it would mean she'd have to get up.

The truth was, unless she was legitimately dying, she wouldn't call anyone. It was just part of who she was. She wouldn't inconvenience other people for own benefit.

She lay there for what felt like a pretty long time, but she wasn't doing anything, so it probably seemed to her like longer than it was. Then she heard her buzzer ring. She had no idea who it could possibly be, but not seeing an alternative, she got up and answered the door. She held the blanket around her body, but still felt a rush of cool air around her as she got up, and shivered. She opened the door, and her eyes narrowed when she saw who it was.

"Castle?" she croaked. "What are you doing here?"

His eyes filled with genuine compassion. She would have been touched if she wasn't so annoyed that he was here and seeing her like this, wrapped in a blanket and looking, she was sure, worse than she had at work. "You lost your voice now? Geez, whatever it is you have sucks."

She said nothing, partly because it hurt to talk, and partly because she didn't have a response to that. She considered nodding in agreement, but remembered she wasn't admitting to Castle that she was sick, so she just stood there, staring at him.

Undaunted, he held up the bag he was carrying. "I brought you a care package. Let me in for a second? I promise I'll leave in less than two minutes."

She sighed and moved away from the door, which she knew he would take as an invitation. She was right. He followed her into her living room and set the bag on the coffee table, sitting on the edge of the small, not especially comfortable lounge chair and leaving the couch for her to reassume. She did, but now she sat instead of lying down.

He took a plastic bowl-like container out of the bag. "Best chicken soup in the city," he said, his eyes twinkling. "If you're hungry. If not, you can heat it up right in this container later." He pulled out a much smaller plastic bottle. "Advil. In case you didn't have any. To help get rid of your headache and fever." A plastic pouch. "Sore throat drops. They're peppermint, and they actually taste pretty good." A small cardboard box. "Tea in all kinds of different flavors." And, it looked like last, a teddy bear. "And this might look like an ordinary teddy bear, but it's not. My mom got one of these for Alexis, and she loves it. You put it in the microwave, which might seem cruel, but I promise this little guy won't feel a thing. It heats up and apparently has some kind of nice girly scent. It was intended for, ah, you know, that time of the month, but Alexis loves to just hold it when she's sick, or even just when it's cold outside. So… whatever." He let it sit on the coffee table.

She couldn't help but smile, especially at the teddy bear. It was ridiculous, but nice.

He grinned. "Yes, a smile. I was trying to get you to do that all day."

She half-rolled her eyes, but it hurt her head. "Thanks, Castle," she said. "That's sweet."

"Not a problem." He paused. "I got your text."

"What? I cancelled that!" She used more force than she should have to say that, and grimaced in pain.

"Well apparently it sent anyway," he said, grinning. "It was just a blank message though, did you actually type something?"

"No," she said quickly, shaking her head in case the word didn't come out. It did, but just barely.

"I figured you were thinking of asking for something but changed your mind," he explained, "so I brought everything I could think of."

She started to say something, but he held out a hand, stopping her.

"You don't have to say anything to that. I can tell it hurts you to talk, and I honestly don't care if I was wrong. I wanted to help out a friend. Just promise me you'll use at least one of the things I brought."

She nodded.

"Excellent. That's all I wanted. Can I do anything for you?"

She took the soup. "Spoon," she whispered. "Drawer in the kitchen."

"I can do that," he said, immediately getting up. He came back a second later with the spoon. "Anything else?"

She nodded in thanks and picked up the Advil. "Water?"

"Just a second," he said, going back into the kitchen.

She started to eat the soup. It really was good, and the warm liquid felt amazing on her throat. Soon he came back in and handed her the water. "See, isn't that soup good?"

She nodded.

"Anything else?"

She shook her head.

"Do you want me to leave?"

She didn't respond for a long moment, continuing to eat her soup. Did she want him to leave? Finally, she shook her head, slowly and slightly.

He tilted his head, surprised. "You don't?" He sat down in the chair again. "Okay."

He actually sat there without saying anything until she finished eating.

"Wow, you were hungry," he observed, as the bowl was empty. "That was a pretty big container."

"I didn't eat much today," she said, her voice starting to come back a little, although it was still hoarse.

"You sound better," he said. "Behold the healing powers of soup."

She smiled and opened the Advil bottle. She held up her water glass for a split second as if toasting, and took two. "Thanks for all this," she said. "You should go. I don't want you to get sick."

He waved her off. "I never get sick."

"Yeah, neither do I."

"Okay, but I'm a dad. Parents have a special kind of immunity. See, little kids get sick all the time, and at first their parents get sick every time they do, because we have to take care of them. But then after awhile, our immune systems get stronger and we stop getting sick when our kids do, and eventually we're immune to almost everything."

She raised her eyebrows. "Well, I'll admit I'm not a dad." This seemed to be the closest thing to a witty remark she was able to come up with at the moment. "But even if that's true, don't you need to get back to Alexis and everything?"

He made a face. "Please. She'll be in bed by eleven whether I'm home or not."

"Not a whole lot of parenting you have to do there anymore, is there?"

"No," he said sadly, "not a whole lot. And you have no idea how much that scares me."

"I have some idea," she said, smiling. She involuntarily shivered.

"Let me heat up that bear for you," Castle offered. "I promise it'll make you feel better."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she grumbled, but she didn't try to stop him from taking the bear.

He went back to the kitchen, but this time took a different route, purposely walking right past her, and let the back of his hand brush her forehead. "Geez, Kate, you're hot. In more ways than one." He'd been trying to make a joke, but his face showed concern, not amusement. "That Advil you took should start to help soon, though."

"How in the world did you do that so fast?" She frowned, annoyed.

He smiled, but carried the worried look in his eyes. "Practice. Alexis used to hate it when I felt her forehead."

"Are you remotely aware that I'm not your six-year-old daughter?"

"No. Not right now. Why, is that a problem?"

A flicker of a smile crossed her face, but she quickly extinguished it. This was Castle. She should be completely irritated that he was treating her like a little kid when, clearly, he was the immature one. But strangely, she really wasn't. It was nice to have someone taking care of her for once. But she couldn't tell him that… could she? No, she certainly couldn't. "Yeah, of course it's a problem." She sneezed so hard that it actually hurt a little. "Oh, my _God_."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"I already told you I didn't. But if you want to leave, you can. I'll be fine, you know."

"I know you'll be fine eventually, I just don't want you to be completely miserable until then."

The corner of her mouth twitched up slightly. "Okay, then do the thing with the bear."

He smiled. "Done."


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: A couple of different people mentioned this in reviews, and I already responded to those people, but because I love you guys I figured I'd put it in an author's note in case people were wondering who didn't ask. The microwavable teddy bear mentioned in the previous chapter? There really is such a thing. My sister has one, which is where I got the idea._

_Thank you all sosososo much for the wonderful reviews you've been leaving. They make my day. Maybe my week. Starting to write for Castle was the best, most rewarding decision I have made in a very long time, and I have all of you to thank for that._

_Again, this next chapter started off a whole lot shorter, but it sort of took on a life of its own, and now it's grown to the 2,000-plus-word monstrosity that you have before you. Hopefully it'll help to hold you over until the episode tonight. That's what writing (and hopefully reading reviews? hint, hint?) has been doing for me. Happy Castle Day to those of you in areas where there is a new episode tonight, I'm sorry for rubbing it in if you're not, and I hope you like the newest chapter regardless!_

_

* * *

_

She was still half-sitting on her couch, but her head was down on the arm rest, she was holding the warm teddy bear close to her body, and there was no question in his mind that she was asleep. It didn't look especially comfortable, and for an instant he considered moving her, but he didn't want to wake her, both because she needed her sleep and because, even in her weakened state, he feared for his life if she woke up and he was touching her.

_Now what?_ He thought maybe he should leave. He knew she would be creeped out if she woke up and he was still sitting there watching her. But then, she had said she didn't want him to go. What if she needed something when she got up and he was gone? He didn't think for a second that she would actually call him.

So what should he do? He looked around the room as if for inspiration. A small desk with a computer on it stood in the corner, and a little table with a printer beside it. That was the answer. He went to the printer and took a stack of plain paper and a pen that he found in a cup on the desk. Then he went to the small table that he'd seen near the kitchen, turned on the little desk lamp in the middle, and started writing.

* * *

She was lying in her bed, but she wasn't alone. There was another presence lying there beside her, touching her skin. A warm body. She smiled, remembering all of the things he'd brought her and how sweet he'd been. This side of him was somehow completely different from the immature playboy she'd come to know, and maybe love, but never fully trust. She wrapped her arm around him, pulling him close to her.

She woke with a start and realized what she'd dreamt, her face burning with embarrassment as she realized that the presence beside her wasn't him after all, but the teddy bear, still warm from the microwave. She must not have been asleep for long. And she wasn't in her bed, she was on the couch, in a very awkward half-sitting half-lying position. She forced her eyes open and looked to the chair where he'd been sitting, and was relieved to find it vacant. He must have gone home. Too exhausted to convince herself to move, she stretched herself out on the couch, finding a more comfortable position, and fell asleep again almost instantly.

* * *

"Castle?"

Her voice jerked him out of the scene he'd been working on violently, and he jumped. "Hey!" he greeted her when his brain caught up. "You sound better."

"What are you still doing here? I thought you left last night."

He frowned. "I didn't want to leave in case you still needed something." He looked around, trying to get his bearings. He hadn't been asleep, but he had been thoroughly immersed in his writing. His right hand was cramped and stained black with pen ink. "What time is it?"

"Eight."

"At night?" That didn't make sense, he hadn't gotten there until almost that time.

She raised her eyebrows. "In the morning."

His eyes widened. Had he really lost track of time for that long? He said the first thing that popped into his head. "We're going to be late for work!"

She laughed. "Relax, Castle, it's Saturday. _We're_ on call." She emphasized the fact that he'd said "we," mocking him a little.

"Oh. Well still, I need to get home. Alexis is going to wonder where I went."

"I'm sorry, you didn't have to stay."

He gathered up his papers. "Sorry? I should be thanking you. You have no idea how much writing I got done."

She smiled. "Is that what you were doing all night?"

"Yeah, and I got some good stuff, too. I forgot how inspiring it can be just to write with pen and paper. I usually type."

"Aren't you going to have to type it all now anyway?"

"Hm, good point." He shrugged. "I'll just have Alexis do it. She's my proofreader anyway."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm glad you have a useful purpose for your daughter."

He nodded. "Definitely. How are you, by the way? You look and sound a lot better."

She nodded. "So much better. Thank you. For… everything."

"Don't mention it. I'm gonna go home and," he yawned, "maybe try to get a couple hours of sleep. But you call me if anyone is murdered."

She smiled. "Always."

* * *

"Where were you all night?" Martha asked when her son walked in, raising her eyebrows.

"I was at Beckett's," he told her. "And lose that face, nothing happened."

"Of course," she said, her tone a little sarcastic. "How is she?"

"Better. But she got like eleven hours of sleep, and I got none. So if you don't mind…" he stopped, looking around the apartment. "Where's Alexis?"

"She slept over at Paige's last night. She's not back yet. What in the world were you doing all night if Beckett was asleep?"

He waved the stack of papers filled with his own handwriting that he had been carrying under his arm. "Writing."

"Wow. She really is your muse."

He narrowed his eyes. "I am going to bed now. Please don't tell Alexis about all of this, I'd rather explain it myself. Okay?"

Martha nodded vaguely.

"Mother. _Okay?"_

She waved her hand. "Okay. Get some sleep."

"Thank you. I will."

* * *

"Detective Beckett."

The voice that answered Castle's cell phone was definitely not his, and she knew that Castle didn't normally address her that formally. "Alexis?"

"Yeah. Sorry. My dad can't really talk right now."

"Oh. Okay?" She didn't quite understand, but when it came to Castle, less questions were usually better. She probably didn't want to know what he was preoccupied with, especially considering how awkward Alexis sounded. "Well, can you just tell him to call and meet up with us as soon as he can?"

"Umm… no."

She paused. "Umm, why?"

"It's not that he's busy… he actually _can't _talk."

Beckett's mind filled in the blanks. "Oh no! He's sick now?"

Castle was shaking his head ferociously at Alexis, but she ignored him. "Yeah."

"I'm so sorry, Alexis. Tell him I'm sorry, and the worst of it will be past in about a day. Do you need anything?"

"No. Gram and I have it covered."

"Okay. Well, I've gotta go investigate a murder, so…"

"Yeah. Sorry. Go. And don't worry about Dad, he'll be fine."

Beckett frowned. "I wasn't… worried."

"Oh. Yeah. I didn't mean that you were. Just… he was. When it was you." Castle glared at his daughter.

"He was?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm keeping you. Go crack your case."

Beckett smiled at Alexis's wording. She'd been hanging around her dad too much. "It's okay. You're right though, I have to go now. You can call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay," Alexis said, but they both knew she wouldn't. Solving a murder was clearly a little more important than whatever she would've been calling about.

"Okay. Bye, Alexis."

"Bye." She clicked off the phone. "Beckett says she's sorry and it only lasts a day."

"Why did you tell her?" Castle croaked.

"I'm not gonna lie to her, she's a cop. Plus, there's a crime scene and you're not going. She would've known something was up."

"Someone was murdered?" Castle asked. "No, I'm going!"

Alexis rolled her eyes. "Come on Dad, you're sick. You need to rest. Plus obviously it's contagious since you got it from Beckett, and you know how upset Dr. Parish gets when people contaminate her crime scenes."

"Maybe Pearlmutter's the ME on this case."

She raised her eyebrows. "It doesn't matter. Same principal stands. And stop talking, your voice is getting worse."

Castle tried to protest, but Alexis held up a hand to stop him, and the expression on her face was so severe that he didn't argue.

* * *

"Where's Castle, by the way?" Lanie asked when she'd finished giving Beckett the relatively straightforward autopsy results of her latest body. Lanie had found some pretty clear prints, which was definitely a good start.

"I need to talk to you about that," Beckett said, avoiding her friend's eyes.

Lanie raised her eyebrows, pursing her lips. "What did you do?'

"Why do you assume I did something?"

"Because we have a dead body and he's not here, you're looking unusually tired and you won't make eye contact with me."

"I didn't _exactly_ do anything," Beckett muttered, staring at her shoes.

Lanie sighed. "I don't have all day, Beckett, and neither do you. What _didn't you exactly_ do?"

"I was sick yesterday," she grudgingly told her friend, realizing she'd have to make this admission before she could get Lanie's advice.

"Oh?" Lanie asked, knitting her eyebrows a little. "That would explain why you look so tired."

"Yeah, well, Castle figured it out at work yesterday and he came to my apartment."

"He came to your apartment?" Lanie repeated, unblinking.

Beckett sighed heavily, closing her eyes for a second. "Yes, Lanie. I just said that. He came over and he brought me some stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Advil, soup, a teddy bear—"

Lanie stopped her. "A what now?"

"It's a teddy bear. It heats up when you put it in the microwave."

"What in the world is the point of that?"

"I was cold. Lanie, you're missing the point."

"Okay, I don't think you've gotten to the point yet, so how can I be missing it?"

"I fell asleep after a little while and he just stayed there, writing. All night. And now he's sick."

"You are usually much better at telling stories than this, girl."

"Lanie," Beckett said, getting frustrated because she didn't want to have to explain herself much further, "now he's sick, and it's my fault. And I feel a whole different kind of terrible than I did yesterday. What I had was _bad_."

"Honey, why didn't you call me?"

"I figured you were busy and I didn't want to get you sick."

"Beckett, come on, I am never too busy for my best girl."

"And again, you're missing the point."

"And _again_, what _is_ the point?"

"I feel like I should do something. He's sick now because of me."

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know, what can I do? He has Alexis and Martha to take care of him, so I'm sure he doesn't need anything from me, but… I don't know. What do you think?"

"_I _think you're feeling guilty for no important reason."

"I feel like I should go over there after work, just to see if there's anything I can do. I mean, that's what he did with me, right?"

Lanie raised her eyebrows. "You're asking me? All the information I have is from the semi-coherent story you just told me."

"I should, but I have plans with Josh after work. We made them like a week ago."

"Oh, is _that_ what this is about?"

Beckett frowned, frustrated by the fact that Lanie suddenly seemed to understand something while she herself was still desperately confused. "What?"

"Who was there for you yesterday? Castle or Josh?"

"That's not a fair question. Josh had no idea I was even sick, same as you didn't. And I didn't want him to see me like that, I looked awful."

"But you didn't mind that Castle saw you?"

"No, Lanie, of course I did."

Lanie raised her eyebrows. "You did?"

She groaned. "Why am I talking to you? I can't win no matter what I say."

"Beckett, we _both_ need to get back to work, but it comes down to this. You deserve to have someone who you're comfortable being with all the time, through good times and bad. And you need to decide who that's gonna be. It wouldn't hurt for you to have someone in your life who knows you well enough to know when you need help, even if you're not willing to admit it."

She didn't say the first thing that popped into her head, what was so glaringly obvious to her after the previous night. _I already do. _Whatever Castle was or wasn't, he was certainly in her life.

Instead, she argued. "Yeah, okay, but Lanie… he's seeing someone else."

"So what? So are you. Look, I'm not saying you have to marry anyone, I'm just saying you have to decide who you'd rather spend time with tonight."

"I'm not sure I want to spend much time with anyone but my couch and a book tonight. I'm already exhausted and it's still early. I really don't think I'm up for going out."

"If that's the whole truth, fine. Tell it to Josh. All I'm saying is think about it."

She felt her voice starting to slip away again, so she took a sip of the peach-flavored tea she was carrying in a travel mug, finding it impossible to drink without thinking of the person who'd brought it to her. "I'll think about it," she promised, stepping out of the morgue.


	4. Chapter 4

During a break at work she slipped into an interview room with her phone, aware of what she had to do. Her heart beat a little faster than it should've, a strange kind of foreboding. She'd cancelled dates before. She'd cancelled dates with Josh before. So why was her hand shaking, although ever so slightly, as she dialed?

"Kate," he answered. She could hear the smile in his voice, which made her feel worse about what she was about to do. She'd expected his voicemail, and she wasn't sure if she was glad he'd answered or not.

"Hey, Josh. Aren't you at work?"

"Yeah, I'm in my office. Got a little bit of a break."

She nodded, although she was aware that he couldn't see her. "Same kind of thing here."

"Nice. Is that why you called?"

She sighed. "No. It's about tonight."

"Come on, Kate, you're not gonna cancel on me again, are you?"

"Sorry, Josh. It's been a long week, and I'm not really up for going out."

"Well, we don't have to go out. I'll come to your place. I just want to see you."

Josh was being sweet, but it was making this so much harder. "I'm sorry," she said again. "Something came up."

"Work?"

She paused, trying to come up with a good enough answer, but he spoke again before she could.

"Something or someone?"

She floundered. This was really not going according to plan. "Can we do this later?" she finally asked.

"When is later?"

"I don't know, tomorrow maybe."

"You're not going to cancel on me again?"

"Come on, Josh. Of course not."

"I don't know if I believe you. And if I'm never going to get to see you, I don't know if I see the point of what we're doing here."

"Josh, come on," she pleaded. "We're both at work. Let's not do this now."

"We're both _always _at work. And when we're not, you're talking about it. And about _him_. I'm not stupid, Kate. I went to med school. I've seen your face when you're talking about him. And I'd be an idiot if I tried to ignore it any longer."

"Ignore _what?"_ she demanded, but she knew.

"I'm not even going to glorify that with an answer. You are a brilliant woman, and you know what I'm talking about. I'm sorry Kate, I love spending time with you, it's been fun, but… I can't do this anymore. I can't keep lying to myself. And neither should you."

"Josh—"

"Goodbye, Kate."

"Josh!" But the line was dead. He'd actually hung up on her. Broken up with her over the phone, at work, and then hung up on her.

She blinked a few tears from her eyes. This wasn't the time or place. She took a deep breath, steeling herself, and went back to doing her job.

* * *

"Alexis, darling, will you answer the door?" Martha called from her spot on the couch. "I'm on the phone."

Alexis got up from the stool in the kitchen where she had been sitting with her laptop and went toward the door. "Any idea who it is?" she asked.

"Not the faintest," Martha replied.

"Great," Alexis muttered. "You're a big help."

She opened the door and found Beckett, smiling a little awkwardly. "Detective Beckett," she greeted her, confused. "Come in."

"Thanks," she said, entering the apartment.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had a case."

She nodded. "Yeah we did, but we got the guy. Ryan and Esposito are wrapping it up now. Just paperwork, technical stuff." She looked down and shuffled her feet a little. "How's your dad?"

"He's been better, but he'll live. He's sleeping now." Alexis looked at her grandmother for help, but she was still on the phone, apparently completely unconcerned even with finding out who was at the door. She rolled her eyes. "This makes me feel safe," she told the detective. "If you had been an axe murderer, she would have no idea."

Beckett smiled, the awkwardness lifting a little. "Important call?"

"Who knows?"

"Well, I promise you I'm not an axe murderer. I send the axe murderers to jail."

Alexis smiled. "Yeah." She started back toward the kitchen, where she'd been sitting before Beckett showed up. "Sit down," she offered. "Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? Tea?"

"No, I'm good" she said, taking the stool next to where Alexis's laptop was. "Thanks." She hesitated, and decided to voice the question that was currently on her mind. "So, your grandma's on the phone, your dad's asleep… is Gina around?" She wasn't sure she should've asked, but she didn't especially want to run into anyone she wasn't expecting.

Alexis scoffed. "God, no. She's staying far away. Scared to death of getting sick."

Kate couldn't help but smile, both out of amusement that Gina felt this way, not that she was particularly surprised, and pleasure. "Understandable," she said simply.

"So… you're feeling better?" Alexis asked, sitting back down in the stool next to Beckett's.

"Oh yeah," she said, nodding. "I'm still not a hundred percent, but I'm getting there. Just tired now, mostly. It's good your dad's getting his rest. I think that was a lot of my problem. You get burned out doing what we do." She caught her mistake and blushed. "What I do."

Alexis nodded. "So… did you want to talk to my dad about something?"

"Honestly? I'm not sure why I came. I guess I just feel bad. It's my fault he got sick. I wanted to see if there was anything I could do to help."

"It's not your fault _you_ got sick," Alexis said, fascinating herself with her computer screen, although not really looking at it. She turned to Beckett, gaining confidence. "And it's not your fault he went to your apartment last night. He's a little stubborn when he wants to be, I'm sure you've noticed that. You couldn't have stopped him."

"I could've sent him home, though. He asked me if I wanted him to leave. I told him no."

"Did he really just stay there writing all night while you slept?"

Beckett laughed. "Yeah. He told you that?"

"No," she nodded to the living room, "Gram did. Apparently he didn't want me to know."

"That's weird. I swear, that really is all that happened."

Alexis nodded. "I believe you. Them, maybe not, but you I believe."

Beckett smirked. "I'm glad you have so much trust in your family."

"You've met my family."

"Good point. But, I mean, really, can I do anything?"

"We're good," Alexis said. "Really."

"Okay. Then you can just tell him that he was a bigger help last night than I think he knows," she said, getting up to go.

Alexis stood up to walk Beckett to the door, and saw the tall figure of her father standing behind her. "I think he heard you," she said.

Beckett turned around quickly. "Castle," she said. "Hey. How're you doing?"

He tried to say something but his voice didn't come out.

She smiled. "I guess that's as good an answer as any. I'm sorry, this is my fault."

He started to say something again but realized it wasn't going to work, tried to clear his throat, and grimaced in pain.

"Get him tea or soup or something," Beckett told Alexis. "Something warm. It'll help, trust me."

"He doesn't really like tea, but the soup he had Gram pick up is in the fridge. Do you want that?" she asked her father.

He nodded, and Alexis got it.

"That's the same stuff you brought me," Beckett noted, recognizing the container.

Castle smiled.

"It's the best chicken soup in the city," Alexis said, putting the bowl in the microwave. "We always get it when someone's sick. He swears it has 'magical healing properties.'"

Castle nodded his agreement.

Beckett looked at him. "You know, I'm sorry you're sick, but I could really get used to this whole you not being able to talk thing." She turned to Alexis. "You have no idea how helpful this would be at crime scenes."

Alexis smiled. "Or when Ashley comes over. Plus it's actually convenient now. He can't complain."

Castle glowered at them, and finally held up a finger, telling them to wait a second. The microwave beeped as he walked away. "Your soup's done," Alexis called, but he was apparently on a mission and didn't even turn back to acknowledge her. He came back with a notepad and a pen, jotted something down and showed it to Alexis and Beckett.

"You mock me in my weakened state," it said. "I'm hurt."

"You'll get over it," Beckett said.

Alexis handed him the soup. "Here, eat it before it gets cold," she told him.

Castle took it and sat down on the stool where Beckett had been sitting, Alexis reassumed the seat in front of her laptop, and Beckett perched on the end of the only one that remained, on Castle's other side, feeling more than a little out of place.

It occurred to Beckett that Castle didn't ask her what she was doing there. Granted, he couldn't really talk, but he hadn't really even looked confused when he saw her. She knew he heard her saying how grateful she was for everything he'd done the night before, so he knew that was one of her reasons. She decided to pose the same question to him that she had to Alexis.

"Castle, this is probably the only time I'm ever going to ask you this, so you might as well enjoy it, but don't get used to it. Is there anything I can do for you?"

He nodded, but kept eating.

"What? Write it down."

After a couple more spoonfuls, he pushed away his soup and traded it for his notepad, writing something down. He showed it to her. It said "Stop feeling guilty. It's not your fault I'm sick."

She half-smiled, rolling her eyes. "Anything else?"

He shook his head and went back to eating the soup.

"Okay, I guess I'm gonna go then," she said, standing up. "If it works the same way for you that it did for me, you'll be feeling much better tomorrow, so I'll expect to see you at the precinct on Monday."

"Wait," he croaked as she turned to go.

She turned back toward him. "Hey, your voice is back," she noted. "See, the soup helps."

"I know it helps, I was the one who gave it to you in the first place, remember? How did the case work out?" He swallowed carefully. Talking still hurt, but at least he could do it.

"It was an easy one. Boring. Clear-cut, and we got a confession. You didn't miss anything." What she said wasn't exactly untrue, but she was downplaying it.

"Yes, okay, but sometimes the ones that seem boring are the ones that turn out the weirdest at what seems like the last minute."

"Castle, it was a straightforward case. They can't all be like something you'd write about."

"They all should be," he grumbled.

"Oh, come on. I thought you'd be happy you didn't miss anything exciting."

"He's not really happy about anything when he's sick," Alexis said.

"Well, as someone who had the same crappy thing twenty-four hours ago… yeah, I can understand that." She smirked, remembering something he'd told her the night before. "I thought you never got sick."

"Did he tell you that?" Alexis asked, rolling her eyes. "No. He just likes to think it."

"I don't _normally _get sick," he croaked, glaring at his daughter.

"I mean, it's not like you get sick a lot," Alexis amended, "but you're not a superhero. It happens."

He pouted. "You spoiled my secret."

"Trust me, Castle," Beckett said, "I know you're human."

"You just haven't discovered my superpowers yet," he tried to say as he raised his eyebrows suggestively, his voice breaking on the last word.

Alexis made a face, closed her laptop, and walked out of the kitchen.

Beckett rolled her eyes. "See what happens? You scared your daughter away."

"That was tame. She's heard far worse." There was just a little tone left under Castle's whisper.

"You need to give your voice a rest, it's getting bad again."

"You just want to make me be quiet."

"Well yes, that too." She smiled, trying to mask her concern but apparently not fully succeeding.

"Come on, Beckett." His face was cheerful enough, but the fact that he was practically whispering shattered the illusion of normalcy. "I thought you'd be on the same side as my mom, serves me right for staying at your place all night."

She shrugged, keeping the painted smile on her lips. It was weird. She knew Castle wasn't as fine as he was acting, but why was he acting at all? She'd expected him to be complaining and overdramatizing, not downplaying it. "How are you feeling?" she asked, changing the subject a little.

"Like crap on toast."

She made a face. "Why do people say that?"

He shrugged, swallowing. Apparently he wasn't anxious to talk much more or she knew he would've retorted. A silent minute later he frowned and wrote something on his notepad again.

She was a little taken aback when she read it. It was only two words, but not two she was expecting. It read, "You okay?"

"Me?" He was uncharacteristically pale and missing a voice, and he was asking her if _she_ was okay?

He nodded, his face serious, the same concerned look in his eyes that she'd seen last night. How the hell did he do that? If he was feeling half as bad as she'd been the day before, how did he still manage to focus on her? She'd been so self-absorbed when he'd come over she doubted she'd have noticed if he'd been missing an arm. And yet, here he was, still observing her, noticing a little extra awkwardness, or maybe even a little of the sadness she'd been trying so hard to hide from everyone, herself included, since her conversation with Josh.

"I'm fine," she said. "Still a little tired, that's all."

"Really?" he wrote.

She started to nod, but he was still making that face at her, and she found that she couldn't lie to him. "Josh and I broke up," she said quietly.

Slowly, he nodded. "Sorry," he whispered.

* * *

_Hope you liked it! Reviews are always, always, always appreciated. Trust me. Please do it._

_Just a couple of points. One, we really don't know that much about Josh, so if I made him a bit... more of a jerk... than I should've, it was probably my own personal biases getting in the way. Although I do think it's realistic that he'd be frustrated._

_Aand point number two. A lot of the reason, as some of you noticed, I've been updating this so fast is that I originally wrote a lot of this as one big chunk, and have mostly just been editing and adding scenes, which doesn't take all that long. I'm now completely caught up, meaning I've posted everything I had written. Right now I'm thinking this will probably only have one more chapter, but I'm not an outliner, so it's entirely possible that it will have its own ideas about when and how it wants to wrap up. Since I do actually have to write a whole chapter before I can post it now, and I have a huge project due this Thursday that I haven't exactly started... it will probably be a few days before my next (last?) update. Although I had no intention of getting this up today, so I guess anything's possible._


	5. Chapter 5

_So, apparently I lied. Sorry, guys. Although I don't think you'll be too upset when I tell you what I lied about (at least I hope not!). I said this was probably going to be the last chapter, but as I wrote it I realized that it had other ideas. So, as I think you'll be able to tell when you get to the end of this, it's not the last chapter, and I seriously doubt that the next chapter will be the last. I've also started another Castle story that I'm actually really proud of, and I wanted to wait until I finished this to start posting chapters, but depending on how long this wants to keep going and how impatient I get, I might end up posting updates to two stories at one time...ish. It would probably be alternating days or something. We shall see. But that's a little bit unrelated._

_Reviewers: you make my life happy. I've said this before, but I'm so glad you like the way this is going, and I so appreciate all of your feedback. I didn't think I'd get another chapter done today, or even this weekend, but I got a little tiny bit distracted from the paper I really need to be writing tonight and this happened. Distraction has its benefits. I don't know how soon the next update will be, since I'm going into the most stressful finals week of my college career thus far (I'm only a sophomore, but still...), but I'll try to keep the updates coming as much as I can. In the meantime, getting lots of reviews would definitely improve my busy weekend! (Hint, hint?)_

* * *

"Kate!" Martha greeted her, smiling as she glided into the kitchen. "So it was you at the door earlier. Good to see you. I certainly hope you're feeling better."

"Good to see you too, Martha," she responded politely. "And yeah, I'm feeling a lot better. But I guess I passed it on to… him."

Castle smirked, and she guessed he noticed her half-second's hesitation about what to call him while talking to his mother. At work she almost always called him Castle, but that didn't seem right when talking to his family. "Richard" was too formal, and "Rick"… not formal enough. With Alexis she usually went with the noncommittal "your dad," but calling him "your son" to Martha seemed unnecessarily awkward.

Martha waved her hand dismissively. "He deserves it. Staying at your apartment all night the way he did? He was asking for it."

Kate shrugged. "Oh, I don't know about that. He was actually really helpful."

Castle smiled, but there was something more behind it than pride or gloating. Something she couldn't quite place.

"Oh really?" Martha asked, raising her eyebrows.

Beckett nodded. "Yeah. Really."

"I see." She made a show of looking around the room and the turned to Castle. "Richard, where did Alexis go?"

He pointed vaguely upward.

"Ah." Without another word, Martha took her leave, apparently following Alexis.

When she was out of earshot, Beckett twitched her eyebrow down a little, not really making it to a full frown. "That was weird."

Castle shook his head, almost rolling his eyes. "That's Martha Rogers," he jotted.

Beckett nodded. "You know, I should go. You need your rest, and I need to be getting home."

He shook his head, putting a hand on her shoulder to keep her from getting up. He raised his eyebrows at her, nonverbally telling her to stay put. She sighed but nodded. When she'd made the decision to come here, she hadn't counted on not being allowed to leave. This was the third time she'd tried now. But when she had satisfied him that she wasn't going to move just yet he turned back to his tablet, writing again. It took him longer than anything had yet, and she wondered what he was writing that was filling so much of the tiny page.

Finally, he handed it to her. "You should stay," he'd written. "Have dinner with us. I know you don't have plans tonight, and I know I'm not going to get you sick. My mom's cooking, so you're taking your life into your hands there, but she always makes too much so we'll have plenty." A little further down the page, almost as a side note, a little something further to persuade her, he'd written, "Alexis would be thrilled. Don't tell her I told you this, but she really looks up to you."

She genuinely smiled when she read the last part. "Better shred this, then," she joked, holding up the page where he'd written.

He smiled and gave a little nod.

"Thanks Castle, that's nice, but I couldn't."

He started to say something but then remembered and sighed, motioning for her to give the notepad back. She slid it down the counter and he wrote something quickly, and then held it up for her to see. "Why not?" it said.

"Because you need to get some rest and I don't want to bug your family."

"Bug them?" he wrote. "Please. They like you more than they like me."

"What about Gina? Alexis told me she's staying away, but how would she feel about me being here?"

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her."

She rolled her eyes as she read it. "What if your mom tells her, or Alexis?"

"Alexis won't," he wrote, "and if my mother does she'll be out of a place to live."

"No. Sorry Castle, but I'm not comfortable with that." She stood up to go, officially for the third time since she'd gotten there.

Castle shook his head vigorously, writing. "I stayed at your place last night when you told me not to go," he wrote, dealing from the bottom of the deck, a mock-threatening look on his face as she read. "Won't you do the same for me?"

She sighed, realizing he'd won. "You're really gonna play that?"

"If it'll get you to stay, absolutely."

"Why do you want me to stay so badly?"

He shrugged, smiling gently. Apparently that was all she was going to get, but she understood. She hadn't told him she'd had plans wish Josh tonight, but he'd guessed it, and he didn't want her to have to spend the evening alone.

"Fine, I'll stay," she finally conceded. "But only if you promise to stop looking at me like that."

He nodded and tried to put on a more casual expression, but wound up leaning on the counter with his head resting on his hand, looking utterly miserable.

"Hey," she said, putting her hand on his arm to get his attention, something that, from the new look on his face, apparently startled him. "You don't have to entertain me. You look exhausted. Why don't you go get some sleep?"

"Tried," he rasped, apparently ignoring his notepad, possibly because he'd closed his eyes. "Can't. Pain."

She remembered that feeling all too well. "Head? Throat?"

He nodded.

"'Kay. Go to bed. I'll have Alexis bring you something."

She watched as he dragged himself up the stairs, once again feeling responsible. She followed him once he was out of sight, in search of his daughter. But Martha found her first, stopping her in the hallway with an odd sort of urgency. "Kate, good," she greeted her. "I need your help. I have an audition tomorrow and I _cannot_ be sick, so I'm checking myself into the Plaza."

Beckett raised an eyebrow, a trace of a smile crossing her lips. "And you just decided this now?"

"Well I thought I could avoid it, but now Alexis is starting to get sick, and living here with the both of them I don't think I stand much of a chance."

Her heart leapt. "Oh God, Martha, I'm so sorry…"

But Martha stopped her. "No, my dear. These things happen. No one's holding you responsible. But what I need is for you to stay here and take care of them, just for this evening, if you don't mind. I know that there's no risk of you getting what they have."

She nodded. "Of course. Try to stop me."

Martha visibly relaxed. "Thank God for you, Kate Beckett. I'm sorry for any inconvenience."

"I'm sure it'll be fine. Castle's more… subdued, than usual, and I'm sure Alexis will be easy."

Martha smiled as though she knew something that Kate didn't. But she simply said, "Wonderful," and scurried past her, evidently to pack some of her things.

"Martha?" Kate asked, causing her to pause.

"What, dear?"

"Where can I find Alexis? And something to give Castle for a headache?"

"Alexis's room is the last door on your left, Richard's is that one," she said, pointing to the closed door they stood in front of. "And there should be Advil or Tylenol or something of that nature in the box Richard keeps in the closet. Second door on your right."

"Thanks, Martha," she said, trying to memorize all the information she'd just been given. She'd been in Castle's apartment a few times before, but she'd never been upstairs, so she was feeling a little lost in the large space.

Deciding that finding Alexis was still her first priority, she followed Martha's directions down the hall. There was a little hanging sign that said "Alexis," which Martha had failed to mention, but made the room easy enough to find. She knocked.

"Gram?" Alexis called from inside. "I thought you were leaving. You can just come in."

"No, Alexis, it's me. Kate." Alexis had only ever called her Detective Beckett out of respect and the fact that they didn't know each other all that well, but announcing herself that way felt entirely too much like she did at work when she went to someone's place to question them, and this was not the feeling she wanted to give Alexis.

"Oh." The way Martha had been acting, she'd almost expected to find the teenager in bed wrapped in blankets, but when she answered her door she didn't look any different than she had before she'd left the kitchen. "Hi."

"Hi. Uh, I talked to your grandma, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine," Alexis assured her with a roll of her eyes. "Gram's just overreacting. Shocker."

Beckett's extensive experience as a detective kept her from being completely able to believe Alexis. "So why does she think you're getting sick?"

"I sneezed, _once_, and she wigged out. People sneeze. I feel fine, I just have a really big test on Monday and I'm a little stressed."

"Oh. Well don't worry, you always do great in school, don't you?"

"Yeah, I always do great in school because I always study like crazy."

Kate nodded. "Okay. Carry on. But first, could you show me where I can find something to give you dad for his headache?"

Alexis nodded, led her out to the closet Martha must've been talking about, and got out a plastic box covered with stickers depicting teddy bears dressed as doctors. "Everything you'll need will be in here," Alexis said, setting the box on a little end table.

Kate smiled at the decorating job that had been done on the box. "Did you do this?"

"My dad did," Alexis said. "Years ago. We've had it since I was little."

"Really?" She couldn't help but laugh, picturing Castle at the card store picking out teddy bear doctor stickers, and then arranging them on this box. Castle as the father of a young child wasn't something she could easily picture. She almost wished she'd known him back then.

"Yeah. Originally it was just for me, when I got sick, but it's sort of become just the general medicine box. Our medicine cabinet is more for toothbrushes, curling irons… things you'd actually use in the bathroom."

"Makes sense. Okay, go ahead and go back to studying, I've got your dad."

"Thank you so much, Detective," Alexis said with an audible sigh of relief, turning back toward her room in a hurry.

"No problem. Oh, Alexis?" she said, making the girl turn back around.

"What?"

"I'm not at work. Call me Kate."

Alexis smiled a little and nodded once, wrapping her mind around it. "Kate."


	6. Chapter 6

She knocked twice and then entered Castle's bedroom with a glass of water and a bottle of Advil, aware that he couldn't call to tell her to come in. He was sitting up but he was in bed, which was a very weird way for her to see him. She didn't dislike it exactly, but it didn't feel natural. And she did dislike the way he looked right now: small, pale, and disheveled, surrounded by blankets and pillows. "I brought you some Advil," she said, waving the bottle and handing him the water glass. "It worked for me yesterday."

"I thought you were sending Alexis?" he whispered.

"I was going to, but she said she had a lot of studying to do, so I told her I'd get it. Is that a problem?"

He shook his head. "Just surprised."

She nodded and handed him the Advil. "Take two." While he did so, she kept talking. "Your mom says she's checking herself into the Plaza for a couple nights. She remembered she has an audition tomorrow and she doesn't want to get sick." She felt like Castle should know what was going on in his own house, but she left out the part about Martha thinking Alexis was getting sick, not wanting to worry him since she seemed just fine.

He took the pills and then rolled his eyes. "I thought that was going to happen sooner than it did."

"Well, since she was going to cook, I figured we'd just order in. What do you feel like?"

"Sleeping," he responded.

She smiled. "Oh, that's right, you had soup. I'll just ask Alexis."

"Perfect," he moaned, settling down in bed further.

"'Kay. Night, Castle. Hope you feel better." She left the room, closing the door behind her.

She wasn't sure what to do now. It was still a little early to order food, and Alexis was studying, Castle sleeping, and Martha leaving, so she found herself alone in their apartment. She'd just gone back downstairs, figuring she'd watch TV or something, when she ran into Martha again. "Oh, hey Martha, you're still here," she greeted the older woman.

"Yes, just trying to get everything I need together," Martha answered, pausing in her bustling. "How are they doing?"

"I gave Castle some Advil and he's trying to sleep," she reported. She'd decided that Castle was the least awkward thing to call him even when talking to Martha. "Alexis seemed fine, she just said she had to study."

Martha eyed her, which was a little disconcerting. "She _seemed_ fine, or she _said_ she was fine?"

Kate frowned. She felt like this was a trick question. "She seemed fine," she repeated.

"Okay, kiddo," Martha said, sitting down on the couch and motioning for Kate to do the same. She did. "I'll give you a free pass on this one since you're not a mother, but let me give you some advice. When you're dealing with a sick kid, you can't just trust what they tell you. You've got to look for the signs. Alexis has a test on Monday that she's afraid to miss, so of course she's going to say that she feels fine. But did you see her eyes? They're a little bloodshot, a little glazed-over—a sure sign that she's getting sick."

"I didn't notice that," she admitted quietly.

Martha smiled a little. "I'm sure Richard told you that I can be dramatic, and you assumed I was overreacting. I understand. But when it comes to my son and my granddaughter… I know a little more than he gives me credit for."

Kate felt a familiar little pang. She hadn't thought she'd be able to say this, _ever_, but Martha had reminded her of something her mother had used to say. Inevitably, Johanna would notice if Kate or her father was getting sick before they would. Every time she was proved right, as she always was, she'd say the same thing. "I can tell when my family is sick. It's a special talent all mothers have." Apparently even Martha, unconventional mother though she might have been, wasn't an exception. Kate could picture her mother, wherever she was now, nodding her head in approval that her daughter was understanding one of the basic principles she'd lived by, and she couldn't help but feel a little proud.

She noticed the way Martha was looking at her, blinked away the tear in her eye, and felt like she needed to explain, just a little bit. "My mom used to say something like that." Her voice had gone out a little bit when her throat constricted, and it was lower than it should've been, the tone a little strained. "That mothers can tell about their families."

Martha nodded knowingly, a small sympathetic smile on her lips. "She was right. Your mom was smart."

"Yeah, she was." She took a deep breath and changed the subject. She didn't know Martha near well enough to discuss this any further. "Do you need to be going?"

"Oh yes, yes I do," Martha remembered, getting up and starting to go back to her packing. "Just don't let Alexis fool you. You'll be surprised, when she's sick she can be more difficult to take care of than Richard ever was."

Kate nodded. "I can handle it."

"I wouldn't be leaving right now if I had any doubt of it." She took a pair of gloves off of the coffee table and put them in her jacket pocket before picking up the small bag she'd left by the stairs. "I'd best be off," she announced, on her way to the door. "I wish you luck, but I'm sure everything will be fine."

"Thanks, Martha. Good luck with your audition."

Martha nodded in gratitude and slipped out, leaving Kate with the same dilemma she'd had before she'd run into her. What should she do?

After her conversation with Martha she had no doubt that Alexis was getting sick and she felt terribly all over again, but as far as she could see there wasn't anything she could do about it. Studying wasn't going to hurt the girl, and she saw no reason to try and stop her if she was feeling well enough to do it, especially because if Alexis followed the same pattern she had, she'd be fine to go to school by Monday. And although she was _getting_ sick, she clearly wasn't really there yet. She was still glad she hadn't told Castle. He did need his rest, and that would be less likely to happen if he was worrying about his daughter.

She turned on the TV and started flipping through the channels, noticing how many he got that she didn't. She didn't often have time to watch TV, so she didn't feel the need to pay for an expensive cable package, although she would've liked to have some of the movie channels he got. She smiled and stopped surfing when she found the eighties movie _Say Anything_, which had been one of her favorites as a teenager. She hadn't seen it in years, and she was a little surprised when she realized she could still quote whole scenes.

She was still watching it, relaxed on Castle's couch, when Alexis came down the stairs. "Oh, Detective Beckett, you're still here," she said when she saw her.

She smiled and looked up at her. She looked healthy enough, but then she remembered what Martha had said and looked at her eyes. Unsurprisingly, she was right. They looked a little irritated, a little glassy. "Yeah, your grandma asked me to stay with you guys for the evening. Didn't I tell you that?"

"I don't think so, but I was a little distracted before. Sorry."

"Oh, that's okay," Kate told her, standing up and turning to her so that they could actually talk. She didn't say anything about Alexis getting sick, not feeling like it was necessary, and not wanting to upset her. "You hungry? I thought maybe we'd order in since your grandma obviously isn't cooking anymore."

"Yeah, that's why I came down. I was just going to see if we had anything leftover in the fridge, but ordering in sounds better."

"Great. What do you like?"

"Uh, I don't care. I'm not that picky. Chinese is good."

Beckett smiled. "I was hoping you'd say that. I know a great place. Just let me call them."

"Great." Alexis gestured to the TV. "What are you watching?"

She laughed. "It's a movie from the eighties. It's called _Say Anything._ Have you seen it?"

She looked at the TV. "I don't think."

"I guess it was before your time. You should watch it sometime, though. It was one of my favorites when I was your age."

Alexis smiled. "Why don't we watch it now? While we wait for the food?"

"It's almost halfway over. You missed a lot of it."

"Were you watching it from the beginning?"

"Pretty much."

"Then we can rewind it. We have a DVR."

Kate grinned. "Why don't you do that while I order the food?"

"Sounds good."

"Any requests?"

"Anything's fine."

"Okay." She went into the kitchen and used her cell phone to order, and then went back to the living room and found Alexis on the couch with the TV freeze-framed part way through the opening credits. She hit the play button when Kate sat down beside her. "Nice," she said, nodding at the remote. "I could get used to that."

"Then you should get one of these," Alexis suggested. "It's nice. I hardly ever watch anything at the time it's really on anymore."

She shrugged. "I don't get a lot of time to watch TV when I'm at home, and I can't justify spending the money on it. What I need next is a new apartment. I'm still in a little temporary one since the bombing."

Alexis shuddered. "That must've been so hard, for your home to be destroyed like that. I can't imagine."

"It was. But I got through it. Just an occupational hazard, I guess."

Alexis looked at her. "How many detectives get their apartments blown up?"

Kate chuckled humorlessly. "Maybe I'm just lucky."

Alexis raised her eyebrows and focused on the movie.

"I thought you had to study," Kate asked her after a few minutes.

"I needed a break. Studying was kind of wiping me out."

Kate tried to keep from looking worried, and apparently succeeded well enough, because Alexis didn't say anything about it. "Then it's good you're taking a break," she said. "Sometimes that helps. You can go back to your studying after the movie's over. It'll still be there." She recognized the irony of the situation. _She_ was lecturing someone on the importance of taking a break? How many times could she honestly say she'd taken her own advice during a case, no matter how tired she was? Pretty much never.

But Alexis nodded, apparently buying it anyway. "Dad's usually good for distracting me, but he's asleep."

"Is he? Did you check on him?"

Alexis nodded. "He's asleep," she confirmed.

"That's good. Hopefully he feels better when he gets up."

"Yeah, hopefully. I hate when he's sick."

"I can relate," Kate murmured, unsure of whether or not she wanted his daughter to hear her comment. "What subject were you studying for?"

"American History."

She nodded. "I might still remember a little of that. Maybe I can help you study later. If you want."

"How long are you going to be here?"

Kate looked at her dad's watch. It was still early, not even seven yet, but she knew the time would go fast and she wasn't anxious to leave the two sick Castles, one of whom didn't even realize it yet. "I don't know," she replied. "As long as you need me to be."

"We don't _need_ you to be here at all," Alexis insisted.

"Thanks."

Alexis blushed. "No, that's not what I meant. I love that you're here, and I know my dad loves it too."

Now it was Kate's turn to blush.

"I just mean that," Alexis continued, ignoring Kate's apparent embarrassment, "if you want to go home, you should. Don't stay here on my dad's account, I can take care of him."

"I know you can, but you said you had to study, and I don't mind. Besides, if I'd gone home, you'd be eating leftovers by yourself for dinner, and that's not fun. Trust me, I know."

"This is definitely better," she agreed. "I'd like that, by the way."

"What?"

"If you helped me study. I'd like that. I made flashcards, so you really wouldn't even have to remember anything."

"Oh yeah, good. After the movie."

Alexis smiled. "Yeah, after the movie."

* * *

_I'm not the world's biggest fan of this chapter. I feel like it was mostly just a lot of filler, and I had a really hard time getting Martha's voice right. But I also realize that no matter how many more times I read it, it's not going to change much. So here it is. Hope you like it, even if I really don't. Thank you all for your reviews, I love them so much. I reply to some, but unfortunately I don't have time to reply to all of them right now. That doesn't mean I love you any less! :)_


	7. Chapter 7

"This food is so good," Alexis said, pushing away a takeout container as she finished it off. "You're really good at ordering, Detective."

Kate raised her eyebrows, still working on her General Tso's. "Alexis, what did I tell you earlier?"

"Sorry," she said, remembering. "Kate."

She smiled. "Better. Yeah, well I order in most nights, so I know what's good from where."

"Practice makes perfect?"

"I guess," she said, laughing.

"God, I'm so full," Alexis said, curling up a little more on the couch. "It's freezing in here. Aren't you cold?"

Kate frowned and set the box she'd been holding on the coffee table. "No, I'm good. You feeling okay?"

"Yeah, fine. Just cold."

"You sure? Because if you're getting sick—"

"I'm _not_ getting sick," Alexis snapped, interrupting her.

Kate pulled back, surprised. She'd never seen Alexis get angry before. She was usually so sweet. "Okay," she responded in a low voice. "I'm just saying you should tell me if you are so I can help."

"I'm sorry," Alexis said, softening after she saw Kate's reaction, almost to the point of tears. "You're being so sweet and I'm yelling at you. I'm a jerk."

"No you're not. You're stressed. I get it." She figured Alexis wasn't feeling well either, but now didn't seem like the time to mention that again. "I know what it's like to feel like you're buried in work. The number of times I've snapped at my partners," she smirked, "and your dad…" she trailed off. "I get it. Don't worry about it. It's good you're taking a break, though. That's something I'm not so good at doing."

"It's still no excuse. Not when you're being so nice." Alexis shivered. "You're really not cold?"

Kate was starting to get worried now and couldn't help herself. She reached for Alexis, putting the back of her hand to the girl's forehead.

"Hey!" Alexis squealed, batting her hand away with surprising strength. "What are you doing?"

Kate remembered what Castle had told her yesterday: "Alexis used to hate it when I felt her forehead." Apparently everything about the statement had been true, except for the past tense. She understood how Castle had developed the ability to tell whether or not his daughter was warmer than she should've been so quickly, but she didn't have the same kind of practice and hadn't been able to tell at all. "Alexis, come on," she said gravely. "I'm a cop, remember? I can hold you down if I have to, but please don't make me do that."

Alexis submitted with a sigh, and Kate tried again. She'd just ascertained that Alexis was definitely hot when she heard a throat clear behind her. She whipped her head around to see Castle's tall figure standing behind the couch watching them, the bemused expression on his face turning to concern after one look at his daughter. "Oh sweetie, not you too," he croaked.

"She has a fever," Beckett reported softly.

"Did you give her anything for it?"

"No, not yet, I just found out."

"Guys," Alexis whispered loudly, echoing their tone in an annoyed, mocking way. "She can hear you. And she's _fine._" She stood up. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I really need to get back to studying."

"Hey," Kate called in her best cop voice, freezing Alexis. She also pushed the pause button on the remote, freezing the TV. "We had a deal. No more studying until the movie's over." Part of her could see that Alexis still needed a break. She was stressed and sick and wouldn't let herself relax. Another part of her just wanted to show her the end of the movie. She'd been having fun both reliving a classic and getting to see Alexis's reactions as she saw it for the first time.

"What's the movie?" Castle asked.

"_Say Anything_," Beckett responded.

"Chick flick. I'm game." He walked around the couch and sat down where Alexis had been, leaving a space between the two of them for her and making an almost threatening face, which Kate copied.

Sighing, Alexis sat back down between the two adults. Her father put an arm around her and she let her head rest on his shoulder. Kate suddenly felt a little out of place, like her presence was interfering with their family moment. She felt badly for Alexis and wanted to do something to help her, but, even more so now that Castle was there, she felt the boundary line and was afraid to cross or even approach it, especially considering the rare form Alexis seemed to be in. So she just sat there on the end of the couch, in her own bubble of personal space.

"Press play," Alexis reminded her gently.

"You know what, just a sec," Kate said, getting up. She had an idea. She remembered something she'd caught a glimpse of when she stood in Alexis's doorway, and quickly went upstairs. She opened the teenager's door and let herself into her room, feeling a little like she was intruding, but deciding (hoping, really) that Alexis wouldn't mind. She saw the bear on the shelf above the girl's bed, exactly like the one Castle had brought her the night before. She grabbed it and went back downstairs to the kitchen, closing Alexis's door behind her, and then popped it into the microwave.

"Here," she said simply when she got back to the living room, handing it to Alexis. "Thought this might help."

To her relief, Alexis smiled, taking the bear and hugging it. "Thanks, Kate."

She nodded and settled back down on her end of the couch. She pressed play, starting the movie again.

But she kept finding herself distracted from the movie, her gaze pulled instead to the people on the couch beside her. Alexis was watching the movie intently through tired eyes, and Kate was enjoying the girl's shock at plot twists that she already knew; her amusement at lines of dialogue that she'd memorized. Castle, it seemed, was watching only his daughter, responding to her every occasional shiver by changing the way his arms were enveloping her, trying to warm her.

In the time she'd known him, Beckett had seen many sides of Castle's personality. She knew he was a far more complex person than he was often portrayed in the media—even more complex than he portrayed himself. But she thought that perhaps her favorite side of him, the one that made him seem the most likeable, the most _human_, was the person he became when he was with his daughter. Watching him worry and fuss over her now… she'd have been lying if she said it didn't make her like him, maybe even love him, a little more. Although if it was Rick who'd asked her, she wouldn't have had a problem with lying.

She realized they'd both been so focused on Alexis that she'd forgotten to ask him how he was feeling. He didn't look much better, and clearly his voice still wasn't back to normal, but she knew that all of his focus would now be on his daughter. She had a feeling that, between the two of them, when the movie ended she'd have her work cut out for her.

Alexis shivered again and Castle sighed, frustrated that whatever he did, it didn't seem to be enough. Suddenly it was like Kate's hand had a life of its own. Before she knew what was happening, it was on Alexis's shoulder, squeezing it gently. She wasn't sure if she was trying to soothe the girl or her father.

When Kate felt what her hand had done, her stomach fluttered, afraid that Alexis would pull away, uncomfortable with the contact, as she'd done when she'd tried to feel her forehead. But this time the girl's reaction was very different. She smiled a little and shifted toward her, spacing herself more or less evenly between the two adults. Encouraged, Kate allowed her arm to wrap around Alexis's back, her hand stopping to rest, this time, on the girl's opposite shoulder, the one closest to her father.

A second later, she felt something brush against her fingertips and turned her head away from the TV, which she'd gone back to watching, to see Castle's hand stroking hers affectionately. She looked at him and saw that he was trying to meet her eyes with a small smile of thanks. She returned it, pleased that she seemed to have managed to offer some kind of small comfort to both father and daughter.

When the movie ended, Kate looked over to Alexis to find out how she'd liked it, but her head was resting on her dad's shoulder, eyes shut tightly. Her gaze shifted to Rick's face: his mouth hung open slightly, and his eyes, like his daughter's, were closed. Kate smiled. Both Castles were asleep.

* * *

_At long last, I finally got another chapter up. Thanks for your patience, I've been super-busy lately. My semester's over now, so I should have a little bit more time to update stuff. I kind of like this chapter, and I really hope you all do too. :) Regardless... in case I haven't mentioned this in awhile... I love reviews!_


	8. Chapter 8

She got up carefully, removing her arm from behind Alexis's back while making sure not to disturb her, and shut off the TV. She began cleaning up from dinner, throwing away the empty containers and putting what little was left over in the fridge.

When she closed the fridge door and turned around slowly, trying to figure out what she could do next, she was surprised by a tall, broad figure standing behind her, too close. She yelped and instinctively reached for her gun, which she wasn't wearing. When she saw who it was, realizing it couldn't have been anyone else, she relaxed. "Castle, _God_. I thought you were asleep."

He put a finger to his lips. "I woke up when you turned the TV off," he whispered, "but I didn't want to wake Alexis."

"Just a little warning, that's all I ask for," Beckett sighed.

"Sorry."

"You're just lucky I left my gun in my car." She smiled, although she was a little unnerved by Castle's proximity. She was backed against the fridge now, but he was still closer than he needed to be, even for their hushed conversation. "How're you doing?" she asked him.

"Better," he assured her. He was whispering so he didn't wake his daughter, so she couldn't tell whether his voice had improved. But there was something off in his expression, something she couldn't quite place. He almost looked… torn.

"What's up?" she asked him gently.

He shook his head, an almost sour look on his face. "Just Alexis. I hate when she's sick. And this time it's my fault."

She nodded her head for him to follow and headed toward his office, wanting somewhere where they could talk at a normal volume. He followed her in and closed the door behind him. "It's not your fault," she assured him, leaning against his desk.

"Yes it is." His voice hadn't fully returned, but it was beginning to. "If I hadn't…" he tapered off, not finishing his thought.

"If you hadn't _what?_ If you hadn't come to see me last night? If you hadn't stayed? I'm as sorry about Alexis as you are, Castle, but I'm glad you did. Besides, if it's anyone's fault, it's mine."

He frowned. "How do you figure?"

"I shouldn't have let you see that I was sick. Or I should've stopped you from coming over. Or sent you home right away."

"Okay, that's silly."

"Maybe we're both being silly. It was Alexis who said it, right? People get sick. It happens."

"Thank you for taking care of her," he said softly.

Beckett resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "I barely did anything."

"Are you kidding? The teddy bear, the hand on her shoulder… and _how in the world_ did you get her to let you feel her forehead?"

She smiled guiltily, not entirely proud of her method. "Threatened to use force."

"That's _it?_ Never worked for me."

"Maybe because she knows I actually could," she teased.

"Hey, when she was five, I could've. In fact, a couple of times I did. She still wouldn't voluntarily let me. And it's only gotten worse as she's gotten older. The worst was right after she took a self-defense class at school. She did this thing where she twisted my arm around… I don't know how she did it, but it hurt."

"Well, I don't have any answers for you, Castle. Maybe she just likes me better."

"You know, originally I was joking when I said that, but you just might be right."

She rolled her eyes.

He took a step closer to her, again invading her personal space. She briefly considered that she needed to stop placing herself in front of large, immovable objects. "Do you know what I thought when I saw your hand on her shoulder?"

She felt her face burn. "That I was butting into your family moment?"

"Butting in-?" he began, indignant, before cutting himself off. "No," he sighed. "That I wanted to kiss you."

"Okay, you must still have a fever, because you're delirious," she muttered, pressing her fingertips to his forehead in a mocking way.

"No," he murmured, brushing her hand away and moving still closer, his lips just a whisper away from hers.

"Castle," she reminded him, "Gina."

He made a frustrated noise. "I don't _care_ about Gina. Where the hell is Gina now? She's _never_ taken care of Alexis like that, not even when we were married."

"So this is about Alexis?"

"Yes. No." Another frustrated noise. "Beckett, I love you."

Time seemed to freeze. _"What?"_

"You heard me. Can I kiss you now?"

"No! Castle, what the hell?"

"I don't know what else to say."

"Well, that's a first."

"Can you notmake fun of me for five seconds? I'm being serious." He paused, realizing what he'd just said. "Wow. That's probably the only time I will _ever_ say that to you." But then he sobered his face, and went back to his declaration. "I love you. What do you think?"

She sighed. Honestly, she would've liked to let him express his feelings, and to let him kiss her. Although she wasn't yet ready to express it, she felt the same way. She had for a long time, even while she'd been in a relationship with Josh. Even while she'd been in a relationship with Tom. But she was unable to overlook one critical point. "I think you're dating another woman."

"Would you stop worrying about her? She's not important."

"Of _course_ she's important. I'm not about to start having any kind of a relationship with you when you're still with her. You might be that spontaneous, but I'm not. And how can I trust that, if we would get together, you wouldn't just cut and run the first time you meet someone else who's nice to Alexis?" This was really the crux of the matter. The way she felt about Richard Castle… it was completely unlike anything she'd ever felt before, any relationship she'd ever had. And she'd had several. She'd dated bad boys before, but Castle was different. In high school, even college, half the point of dating a bad boy was the thrill. They were for fun, not for real feelings. Certainly not for falling in love with. Rick Castle was a different animal altogether. He had the potential to break her heart, and break it hard. She didn't know if she was ready to put herself out there, to expose herself to the possibility of that. She didn't know if she'd ever be ready.

"Cut and _run?_ Dear God, Kate. Is today the first day we've met?"

"Well, no, but—"

He interrupted her. "And how many of the women I've had in my life have I allowed to get close to Alexis—even to meet her?"

"How would I know that?"

"You'll know it because I'm going to tell you. Three."

"In what, the last year?"

"No, the last seventeen." He ticked them off on his fingers. "Meredith, Gina, and you. Meredith is her mother, so that's inevitable, I married Gina, so again, inevitable, and you… Don't think for a second that doesn't make you special."

"Okay, but we're friends. I'm sure you have other friends that Alexis knows."

"Not really."

"Castle, come on. You're Mr. Popularity. You know more people than I've ever _seen._"

"One, that's an exaggeration. And two, yes, I know a lot of people. I have a lot of contacts. I throw big parties. But how many of those people could I really say I'm friends with, like you and I are?" He shrugged. "Almost none."

"So, what, am I supposed to feel bad for you? Poor privileged Castle?"

"No! That's not what this is. I'm just trying to tell you that you matter. To me. And to Alexis, who is the single most important part of my life. And that I love you. And that I want to kiss you."

He was moving dangerously close to her again. She didn't want to stop him, but she knew what would happen if she didn't. But would that be so bad? Yes, she reminded herself. It would. But… His lips brushed her cheek gently, and it felt _good._ If he kissed her… why would that be such a bad thing again? She couldn't remember right now.

But at what seemed like the last possible instant, his lips just a twitch away from touching hers, she remembered. _Gina._ She pulled back, just a little, but enough that he got the idea. "Castle, I can't. Not now."

"When?" he breathed.

"That's up to you." She didn't know why she said it. Her mouth moved before her brain engaged. It invited all kinds of possibilities that she didn't know if she was ready for—no, she did know. She wasn't ready.

"I'll call Gina right now if that's all that's holding you back."

"No." She knew from recent, firsthand experience what it felt like to end a relationship over the phone, and would not be responsible for Castle making the same mistake that Josh had, no matter how much she disliked his ex-wife.

"Then what?" he pleaded. "What do you want me to do?"

She sighed, recognizing that her situation was impossible. God help her, something Castle had once said rang through her head: _The heart wants what the heart wants_. She wasn't in the habit of paying much attention to what her heart had to say, but she knew what her head was screaming: _Step back._

But as she looked into the eyes of the man who stood before her, she found that she had no interest in stepping back, even if there hadn't been a desk behind her. It was just _him._ Castle. Rick. The same man she saw every single day. The one who drove her crazy in so many different ways. But the one who had allowed her to open up sections of herself that she'd thought were forever closed. The one whose family she adored, in spite of, or maybe _because_ of, the fact that it was so different from the family she remembered. The one who'd proven that he'd be there for her when she really needed him to be, even when she didn't want to admit it. The one who she was beginning to find that she would do anything for, even if it was against her better judgment.

But wasn't _everything_ about Castle against her better judgment? Allowing him to shadow her in the first place had been, and that had worked out alright. Granted, that hadn't exactly been her choice, but still, it had turned out okay. Better, in fact, than she could ever have imagined. If nothing else, what he'd said went both ways: she'd gained an unlikely friend. A real, true friend.

As she tried to think this all through, she studied his eyes. Blue-gray. Soft. Sincere. A little bloodshot. Lids drooping slightly. Dark circles beneath. Even if he really was feeling better, he was exhausted, that much was clear.

"I want you to go to bed," she finally said.

He looked as if she'd just suggested he take a long walk off a short pier. "No way. I have to take care of Alexis."

"Alexis is asleep."

"What if she wakes up?"

"She knows where to find you."  
Castle rolled his eyes. "You don't know my daughter. She won't."

Kate nodded. From what she'd seen of Alexis today, he was probably right. "Well… I'll be here," she decided.

He raised his eyebrows. "For how long?"

"As long as you need me to be."

Now it was him that was studying her face. She squirmed a little, uncomfortable with the scrutiny, although she should've been used to it from him by now. "You're tired, too," he told her. "I can tell you're still recuperating. You need your sleep as much as I do. Go home."

She shook her head. "I promised your mom I'd take care of you two."

"You're not going to be able to take care of us very well if you don't take care of yourself, too."

"I'm fine. I'm really not that tired."

She'd seen the face before, and more than once. Like many of his expressions, it was at least eighty percent in his eyes. This particular face, she found particularly unnerving, maybe more so than any other face she'd seen him make. It seemed like he was looking straight _into_ her, and not just into her eyes. Into her mind, into her soul. She could tell he couldn't believe her, and he was right. She was tired. But she wasn't going to leave them, especially when, no matter what he told her, how many times he tried to convince her otherwise, she felt like it was her fault they were sick. He didn't even say anything, to her surprise. He just stood there looking at her, _into_ her, that way, until she felt like she had to say something, to defend herself from his unsettling stare.

"Fine, I'm a little tired," she conceded, "but I'm not going anywhere."

He half-smiled. "Fine with me. But if you stay here, you have to get some rest. I won't have you getting sick again, not on our account."

She shrugged. "I can live with that. You have a nice couch."

He rolled his eyes. "We also have a nice guest bedroom. You can sleep in there. And I'm sure Alexis has something more comfortable that you can wear," he said, gesturing to the clothes she was wearing, still unchanged after work.

Grudgingly, she nodded. She could deal with that.

* * *

_I'm kind of torn about how this chapter turned out. I really like parts of it, but there are other parts that I don't like so much. I'm also fully aware that I probably didn't edit this as much as I should've, but I really just wanted to get it up. The last couple of days have been really, really crazy for me in so many different ways. I want to especially thank everyone who reviewed between Friday night at midnightish and late Saturday afternoon. Saturday morning was... not good... and the reviews I had waiting for me when I finally got home helped sooo much more than you realize. So thanks, guys. :) And I hope you like this chapter._


	9. Chapter 9

_I'm sorry this has taken me so long. Between Christmas preparations and some personal issues I've been dealing with, I haven't had as much time to write as I would've liked. But I was DETERMINED to get this chapter up tonight, and coming off of the high of finally getting all my Christmas shopping done (yes, I'm a last-minute kind of person...) it looks like it's actually happening. Also, even though this particular chapter was a bit of a long time coming, it's on the long side and for the most part I actually really like it. So here's hoping you feel the same way!_

* * *

Alexis was still sound asleep on the couch when they returned to the living room. "Should we move her?" Castle whispered. "I don't want to wake her up."

"If we don't, she might sleep here all night," Kate reminded him. "I did on my couch, remember?"

He nodded. "I can lift her if you open doors."

She nodded and watched carefully as he scooped his daughter into his arms. The apparently exhausted girl barely stirred. Kate ran ahead to beat them to the stairs, but then went up slowly, halfway turned-around, making sure that Rick could make it up okay while carrying his sleeping teenage daughter. When everyone was up the stairs without incident, Kate held open the door to Alexis's room and pulled back the blankets so that Rick could lay her down. Together they covered the girl, who was, miraculously, still asleep.

The two adults slipped back out of the bedroom, Castle last, taking care to shut the door silently behind him. When they were both in the hallway she looked up at him—actually _up_, which was unusual because in heels they were about the same height, but since she'd taken off her shoes and left them downstairs, he was significantly taller than her. This shouldn't have surprised her, but it did, just a little. But when she saw his eyes, all thoughts about his height seemed to melt away. He looked so _defeated._ Exhausted and defeated.

"She'll be fine, you know," she told him gently.

"I'm a father," he said, his expression unchanging. "It's my job to worry."

"Some people would tell you that's more a mother's job." She pushed back the wave of pain that threatened to roll over her as she remembered how her mother used to say that. Now was not the time.

He shrugged. Thankfully his thoughts were too wrapped up in his daughter for him to notice her struggling. "I'm really all she's got, so sometimes I have to be both parents."

"Oh, you are _not_." She shouldn't have snapped, and she regretted it as soon as it was out of her mouth, not for what she'd said exactly, but the way she'd said it. His comment had just come at a bad time. He'd said something that got her thinking about her mom, which he had no way of knowing, and then he'd implied that his daughter was motherless, which was untrue. She'd met Alexis's mom. And while, no, she wasn't exactly maternal, she was alive. But now that she'd started, she couldn't seem to be able to stop herself. "That girl has so many people who care about her that it's ridiculous." She ticked them off on her fingers as she listed. "You, Martha, Gina, her mother, m—" she cut herself short, realizing what she was about to say. She wasn't sure if it was okay to admit or not, so she simply stopped mid-thought, floundering in a fruitless attempt to recover herself.

It didn't matter anyway, because Castle could tell what she'd been about to say. His expression, which as she'd ranted had gone from defeat, to hurt, to anger, now seemed to settle on something that, under normal circumstances, would have been amusement. "You?" he asked. But he wasn't merely mocking her. It would've been easier for her to know how to respond if he was. He was amused by her slip, but it was more than that. He seemed _pleased._

She shrugged, feeling her face heat up. "Yeah."

"You care about my daughter." It wasn't a question, since she'd already admitted it. He was simply restating what she'd just said.

"Of course I care about her, Castle. Why do you think I'm still here? I care about both of you." She was digging herself a deeper and deeper hole and she knew it, but what could she do about that now? Everything she was saying was true. Uncomfortably so.

"Both of us," he repeated. God, he was slow tonight. Her patience was waning.

"Yes! Both of you! God Castle, how many times are you gonna make me say it?"

This time, he didn't respond. At least, not verbally. Instead, he moved toward her, slowly at first, but picking up speed when she didn't back away. The next thing she knew, his lips were on hers, and, God help her, she didn't hate it. She didn't hate it at all.

It wasn't anything like she would've expected, if she had expected anything at all. It didn't last long. It wasn't dramatic or even particularly passionate. Kate Beckett had kissed many a man in her lifetime, but this… this was different. It was soft. Sweet. Warm. Warmer, maybe, than it should've been, but now didn't seem like the time to tell him that he probably still had a fever. Not to mention that she was still blushing a little, so her barometer for temperature probably wasn't entirely accurate anyway.

After the kiss, his eyes lingered on her face, boring into hers like they did when he was trying to read her, to figure out what she was thinking or feeling. It was easy for her to give nothing away, because she couldn't even seem to figure out for herself what she felt. She really didn't try, because if she didn't know, then he couldn't know, and she didn't know what she wanted him to know. She needed time to think, and that clearly wouldn't be afforded her while she was in his home, particularly with him staring at her.

After a long moment, he released a short but audible sigh. "Let me see if I can find you something to wear," he murmured, gesturing back toward his daughter's room. He indicated another door. "Your room's in there. Meet you there in a sec."

She ducked into the room and sat down on the bed, trying, but failing, to process what had happened. She couldn't get her mind around it. It was Castle, after all. The man who'd been following her around, irritating her for over two years. But if she was honest with herself, which she often wasn't, how much did he really irritate her? Sure, he complicated her life. That much wasn't up for debate. He absolutely did. But, truly, did she mind? He made her life, and her job, which were often synonymous, more complex, but he also made them more interesting. More _fun._ Granted, she hadn't decided to become a cop because she'd thought it would be fun. But if she'd learned anything from Castle over the last couple of years, it was that it was okay to have fun doing things that wouldn't have classically been categorized that way. It was possible to enjoy her job and still take it seriously. The fact that she could unwind a little while she was working might even have made her a better cop. At the very least, it didn't make her any worse.

She still hadn't decided anything when she saw the bedroom door open, but made the determination that it was okay. Nothing had to be decided tonight. She was simply here to help take care of a sick friend and his daughter, same as he'd done for her the night before. Maybe, in truth, there was nothing simple about the situation, but she was comfortable pretending it was.

"She still sleeping?" she asked as he set some clothes on the bed.

He nodded, and then pointed at the small pile of clothing. "She's shorter than you, but those pants have always been long on her, so they should work."

"Thanks, Castle."

He shook his head. "I should be thanking you. You know, you don't have to stay."

"I want to. For Alexis." It wasn't entirely true. Her decision to stay was more for the father than the daughter, but she couldn't fully admit that to herself, much less to him.

He shrugged. "Okay. Then I'm done arguing. Goodnight, Detective Beckett."

She smiled. "Night, Rick."

* * *

She got up to use the bathroom and, on a whim, decided to check on Alexis before going back to bed. Slowly, silently, so she wouldn't wake the girl, she turned the knob and poked open the door.

"Dad?" a small voice asked. Apparently she shouldn't have worried about waking Alexis up.

"It's not your dad, hon, it's Kate." She was unable to stop herself from making a face, and was thankful for the darkness and that Alexis couldn't have seen it. Had she really just said "hon"? Since when was she that kind of person?

"Oh."

She closed the door behind her and let her eyes adjust to the darkness before carefully making her way over toward Alexis's bed and gingerly perching on the edge. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Fine."

"You sure? You're feeling alright?"

"I said I'm _fine._"

She rolled her eyes, again grateful for the darkness. Apparently Rick and Martha hadn't been exaggerating about sick Alexis being difficult to handle. "Why are you awake, then?" she asked, kindly, but with some force. "It's really late."

"Why are you?"

"I got up to use the bathroom and just figured I'd check on you."

"I don't need _checked on_."

Beckett sighed. "Alexis, don't forget I had the same thing you do yesterday—well, two days ago now, I guess. It's my fault you're sick in the first place, and I'm sorry, and I know it sucks. But there's no point in suffering. If there's something I can get for you, let me do it. Please."

Alexis sighed heavily before speaking, her voice smaller than before, almost timid. "I can't sleep."

Kate nodded, feeling a pang of sympathy. "I figured. Does your head hurt?"

"And my throat."

She paused for a second, thinking. "Do you like tea?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Give me five minutes. Oh, what about the teddy bear? Do you want it?" Kate had become a really big fan of the teddy bear. It was the closest thing to a cure-all she'd ever come across.

Alexis actually smiled. It was a weak smile, but it still counted. "Sure." She handed the bear to Kate. "Thanks."

"Five minutes," she repeated, and slipped out of the room again.

* * *

She reentered Alexis's room with two cups of tea in her hands and a warm teddy bear tucked under her arm. Moments like this one, she almost wished she'd been a waitress as a teenager. But even without that practice, she managed to carry both cups into Alexis's room and set them on the nightstand without spilling. She handed Alexis the bear, and then asked, "Raspberry or peach?"

"Raspberry."

She nodded and handed Alexis one of the cups. "Good deal, I love the peach."

Alexis took a sip and then smiled. "I love the raspberry."

"Then I guess I chose well. I'm gonna get you some Advil. Can you take it with tea or do you need water?"

"Water. Just get it from the bathroom though, there are some little cups in there."

"Be right back." She got the Advil bottle from the box in the closet and filled a Dixie cup with water in the bathroom. It occurred to her how oddly comfortable she was becoming in the Castles' home, though she'd only been there a few hours. She realized she felt a little more comfortable than she should have when she tripped over a dresser on the way back into Alexis's room. "Ow."

Alexis made a noise somewhere between a sigh and a giggle and turned on the little lamp beside her bed. "Thanks," Kate muttered, sitting back down on the edge of the girl's bed. She set the water and the pill bottle on the nightstand. "Let me know when you're ready for these."

"Now." Alexis set her tea down and picked up the water cup.

"Okay." Kate poured two pills into her hand and gave them to Alexis. "These'll help, I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

Kate couldn't help but laugh. One, she was amused and a little refreshed by how grumpy the normally sweet teenager was being. She'd always known that Castle's daughter wasn't quite as perfect as he seemed to think she was, but she hadn't often seen evidence of the girl's imperfections. Two, she knew exactly how Alexis was feeling. "I think I told your dad the exact same thing last night."

Alexis nodded. "It does suck."

Kate picked up her tea and took a sip, nodding her agreement. "I'm sorry."

"Stop. Seriously. I'm not mad at you. Or Dad. It's no one's fault. But I might _get_ mad at you if you keep apologizing."

"I can't help feeling a little bit responsible since I was the one who was sick in the first place."

"And was that your fault? No. A point I believe I already made. It's fine." Alexis paused a beat but spoke again before Kate could. "What's up with you and my dad?"

"Nothing," she said, too quickly.

Alexis smirked. "You indirectly got me sick, the least you can do is be honest with me now."

Kate raised her eyebrows. "Oh, you _are_ your father's daughter."

"Certain family traits have been passed along. Are you going to tell me or not?"

"There's really nothing to tell." But she felt her face heat up, betraying her.

"You're really not a good liar, Detective."

It wasn't true. Under the correct circumstances, she was an excellent liar. However, these circumstances clearly weren't right, and Alexis was proving really difficult to lie to. "We kissed."

Alexis's face brightened considerably, and it was almost worth her embarrassment seeing the girl so happy. "I knew it! I knew something was going on between you two! What now? Is he going to break up with Gina? Wait, aren't you seeing someone?"

She frowned. "How did you know that?"

"My dad."

"Your dad talks to you about me? How much?"

"More than you'd think. So…?"

"We broke up."

"Oh, good," Alexis began, but then backed off, seeing Kate's face. "I mean, no. Not good. I'm sorry. But… good, too. Don't get me wrong, Gina's nice and everything, but I need to look out for my dad's best interests, and I think you're more what he needs."

"I just don't know if he's what I need," Kate sighed, a little too candidly. This was his daughter she was talking to, after all.

But Alexis didn't seem offended. "Fair enough," she said instead. "But promise me you'll think about it, okay? He really does care about you. It's different… from anything else I've ever seen. And… I like you," she added shyly. "I wouldn't mind having you around more often."

"You know, you can call me any time. It doesn't have to involve your dad."

"I know. But it would be nice if it did." She finished her tea and set the empty cup down. "Just promise me you'll think about it."

Beckett nodded slowly. "If you promise me you'll get some sleep."

In answer, Alexis slid down further beneath her blankets. "Done."

"Okay. Feel better."

"Thanks, Kate. Night."

"Night."

* * *

_If you celebrate Christmas, have a great one! If not, the same goes for whatever holidays you do celebrate. I happen to celebrate Christmas, and I'll take my (slightly early, as the case may be) gifts in the form of reviews, thanks. :)_

_As always, thanks so much for reading!_


	10. Chapter 10

_Apology in advance. I'm really psychotic about chapter lengths, and I'm well aware of that. Consistency just doesn't seem to happen in my world. Ever. And this one's really short. So I'm sorry, but I hope you like what there is of this (for what it's worth, I do), and I will try to get more up as soon as I can. :) And that should be soonish because I have more written already, it's just a matter of adding, perfecting, editing, and posting. But considering I'm in Florida visiting my granddad right now and my schedule's a bit off, the whole process is going slower than normal._

* * *

Her hand was actually on the doorknob to her bedroom—or the bedroom where she was staying for the night, anyway—when she changed her mind. She acted fully on impulse, something she seemed to be doing more lately than she'd ever done before, because if she'd allowed herself time to think about what she was doing she wouldn't have done it. She didn't know, nor did she want to know, why, but the next thing she knew, her hand was on the knob of a different door, one she'd never entered before, turning it noiselessly.

The room was big, as she might've expected, but from what she could tell in the dark, surprisingly simple. As her eyes adjusted she made out his shape, dwarfed a little by the large bed that surrounded it. She forcefully pushed back a thought about how many women had probably been in this bed, not wanting to think about it, and not liking the feelings thinking about it gave her.

To her relief, he was sound asleep, with no idea that she was here. But why _was_ she here? She told herself that she was just making sure he was okay, that he didn't need anything, but why wouldn't he have been? He was clearly well on his way to better, and what he needed most now was rest. If anyone needed care now it was his daughter, and she'd handled that already. She thought about how she'd feel if their positions were reversed—if she was asleep, and he was standing beside her bed, watching her. It wasn't that many months ago that he'd spent the night at her apartment, and she'd threatened his life if he so much as turned her doorknob. Granted it had been an empty threat, for the most part, but still… what was she doing?

Logic won her over and she turned to go, making her way slowly back to the door, careful not to make any noise.

She was about two steps away when a groggy voice stopped her in her tracks. "Kate?"

Her heart caught in her throat and she felt her cheeks burning. "Uh, yeah. Hi," she stuttered, as she slowly turned to face him again.

He pulled himself into a seated position and she was relieved to discover that he was wearing a t-shirt. This was awkward enough to begin with, and a half-naked Castle would not have helped. He smoothed the comforter over an area of the bed beside him and patted it, inviting her to sit. She had half a mind to just bolt and hope he'd think he dreamed the whole thing, but for one she knew that would be cowardly, which she was not, and for another, she knew him better than that. He would not believe, even for a second, that this had been a dream. So she returned to the bed and sat down in the place he'd indicated.

"What are you doing in here?" He didn't ask harshly, as she knew she probably would've in his place, or mockingly, as she might've expected him to. Instead, he just asked. Softly. Kindly.

"I, uh…" She found that she couldn't lie to him, even if she'd wanted to, and she didn't. But at the same time, she didn't know what to say, partly because she didn't even completely understand the answer to his question. "I was… checking on Alexis, and then, I just figured…" she tried to trail off and allow him to finish her thought, or at least ask a question to prompt it, but for once he was silent, a slight smile on his lips that she found oddly endearing. She sighed. "I just figured I'd um, come make sure you were doing okay."

He squeezed her shoulder gently. "I'm doing great."

"You look, er, um¸ you sound…" she almost said "great," but stopped herself, clearing her throat. Too soon. "Much better."

"I feel so much better," he confirmed. "Thanks for being here. For everything."

She shrugged. "Just returning the favor."

He frowned and waved her off, but was apparently unable to keep his mind on this particular line of conversation. "How is Alexis? You said you checked on her?"

"Uh, she wasn't great, but I gave her some tea and some Advil, and I think she's sleeping now."

"Good," he said, eyebrows still knitted. "That's good. You're gonna make a great mom someday."

She half-smiled. "Maybe someday."

He sighed. "Alexis had to go and get sick. There's a beautiful woman in my bedroom and I'm totally distracted."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wouldn't be here right now if she hadn't."

He rolled his eyes. "It doesn't, but thanks for trying."

"She's fine, Rick," she assured him, unsure what she thought of the feel of his first name as it rolled off her tongue. It was definitely something she'd have to get used to. "I promise."

"I know, and I trust you, it's just…" He shrugged. "I'm a parent. I can't help it. I'm gonna go check on her." He started to get up. "You should go back to bed. It's late." He smirked. "Unless you had some other reason for coming in here."

She rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Oh, you're definitely feeling better." She shook her head. "I'm glad. But I think I will go back to bed. _My_ bed."

"_Your_ bed?"

"You know what I meant. Your guest room."

"Just making sure you're not trying to escape on me. You agreed to stay here tonight, I won't have you driving home at three in the morning."

"Honestly? That didn't even cross my mind."

She jumped as she felt his hand on her back, guiding her to the door. It wasn't a bad feeling, not a bad feeling at all, but it surprised her. "Good."

She yawned.

"Back to bed with you." He paused in front of the guest room's door and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. It seemed somehow more innocent than their earlier kiss had, but still it wasn't quite platonic.

She gave him a smile, a glowing smile that she didn't think she could've hidden if she'd tried, before slipping back into her room, closing the door behind her. Her hand strayed up to her cheek, where his lips had touched, as she tried to hold on to what it had felt like. As she got back into bed she allowed the wave of pure happiness to wash over her, for once not thinking about what she was doing or the negative consequences it might cause. Thinking only of the warmth of his lips against her skin.


	11. Chapter 11

It was just before nine when she woke up. She looked in the mirror and pulled her hair back so that it looked decent, but not like she was trying too hard. But when she stepped out into the hallway, she found that the apartment was silent. Both Castles must still have been asleep.

She went downstairs to the kitchen and looked in the fridge, thinking she'd make breakfast. She found a loaf of bread and put two slices in the toaster. She'd keep it simple. She managed to find a tray, on which she placed a plate, a glass, and a mug. She poured orange juice into the glass, and chose a tea bag for the mug—raspberry, she remembered—and started heating water in the microwave. She'd bring the tray for Alexis, but she and Castle could eat downstairs. _Rick_, she reminded herself. He'd been using her first name. She should start trying to use his.

When she got everything arranged on the tray she went back upstairs to Alexis's bedroom, hoping she'd be awake. She opened the door silently in case she wasn't, but the teenager met her with a weak smile. She was up. But she pressed a finger to her lips and pointed to the other person in the room, who Kate hadn't been expecting to find, asleep in a chair beside the bed. "He's sleeping," Alexis mouthed.

His head was hanging off to the side at an angle that couldn't have possibly been comfortable, and his mouth drooped open a little. As Kate set the tray she'd brought on Alexis's lap a snore emitted from his direction, and she couldn't suppress her giggle.

Her laugh had been quiet, but apparently it was enough to wake him up. "Jeez, every time I wake up, you're here," he mumbled at her.

"Sorry. I was bringing Alexis breakfast. I didn't know you'd be in here."

He smiled and stretched, massaging his neck. "I'm not saying it's a bad thing. God, but I think I'm getting too old for sleeping in chairs." He stood up slowly, still trying to stretch out his neck.

Alexis rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head as she sipped her tea. Kate verbalized what she imagined the girl was thinking. "I told you she'd be fine, Castle. You should've gone back to your room after you checked on her."

"I know, and I had every intention of doing that, but…" He shrugged. "I pulled up the chair, and it was comfortable, and I fell asleep." He studied his daughter carefully. "How are you feeling by the way, sweetie?"

"Okay," she croaked, setting down her tea.

"You don't sound okay. Does your head hurt, or just your throat?"

"I'm fine."

Kate sat down on the bed in about the same place where she'd sat the night before. "Honey, we can't help you unless you tell us how you feel," she was surprised to hear herself say. First of all, she'd really just said "honey"? And besides that, it had been her voice, but between the words she'd said and something about how the way she'd said them, she'd sounded nothing like herself, like Kate Beckett. More than she could ever have imagined possible, she'd sounded like Johanna. Like her mother. She managed to recover herself enough to flash the girl a little half-smile, but she could still feel the bewilderment that had to be showing in her eyes.

Alexis must not have missed it, because the expression she returned was equally strange. It was caught somewhere between a smile and a frown, lips smiling, but brow furrowed. "I just don't feel good," she admitted with some effort. "My throat doesn't hurt exactly, but it doesn't feel right, and…" she shrugged. "I don't know."

Castle started reaching for her forehead and she shrank away, but Beckett gave her an I-mean-business look, similar to the one she used with criminals who were about to confess. "Alexis, let him," she warned.

Whether it was the fact that Alexis didn't know her all that well and was being polite, or that her stern voice had the same effect on the girl that it did on suspects, Kate didn't know, but Alexis listened. Rick put his hand on her forehead and turned to Kate, the intensity of the worry in his eyes making her heart jump a little. "What?" she asked.

"She has a fever."

Kate smiled at Alexis and shook her head, acknowledging the girl's exasperation at her father's concern, and then turned back to Rick. "It's okay," she assured him, "it just means she gets more Advil. She'll be fine."

"Thank you," Alexis sighed.

"It's on the nightstand," she told Rick.

He nodded and handed two to his daughter, who took them with a sip of orange juice. "Thanks, Kate," she croaked, motioning at the tray. "You didn't have to do all of this."

"I wanted to, and it's not like I really did that much."

She shrugged. "Yeah… but you didn't have to."

Kate was sure that she wasn't sure how to respond to that. It was true, after all. She didn't have to. She didn't have to be here at all. It wasn't as if Alexis was her daughter, or related to her in any way at all. She didn't even know the teenager that well, although it did seem like they'd bonded a little over the last day or so. What she'd said a second ago was true. No, she didn't have to, but she wanted to. Rather than repeating herself, she changed the subject a bit. "Is there anything else we can do for you?" She included Rick in the offer, fully confident that he would do literally anything that his daughter asked right now.

"No, you've done more than enough. I'm fine, I swear."

She raised her eyebrows.

"Okay, maybe not _fine_, but not terrible. The tea helped, and the Advil helped a ton last night, so I'm sure it will again pretty soon. You guys should go eat. You must be hungry."

Beckett nodded. "Okay. Just let us know if you need anything."

To her surprise, Castle actually agreed. "Yeah, sweetie, I'll have my cell phone on me, so just text me if there's anything we can do for you, okay?"

"Dad, that's ridiculous. You'll just be downstairs."

"I know, but it's not like you can yell. And don't try. And this way you don't have to get out of bed."

"But I _can_ get out of bed. I'm not an invalid."

"I know you can, but it's better if you rest."

Kate slipped out of the room before Alexis's response, not feeling any desire to interfere with the little argument moment that was going on back there. Both of them were being ridiculously stubborn, Alexis in her grumpiness and Rick in his protectiveness, which was sweet, but over the top. So she went back downstairs and popped four more slices of bread into the toaster. She didn't stop her mind from wandering, and it soon came to her mother, always a presence in the background of her thoughts, but over the last couple of days she'd traveled to the foreground more frequently than usual. Mostly she was remembering things Johanna had used to say and how she'd used to act, especially when Kate had been sick, and with each thought she was more surprised at how similarly she had acted with Alexis. The memories themselves didn't have much emotional connection for her at all, but even now, so many years later, she couldn't think about her mother without feeling the wave of pain that she knew so well. Too well.

"What's wrong?"

She jumped. "Castle! God!" She wiped her eyes quickly. "You've really got to stop doing that!"

But apparently he wasn't in the mood for wordplay, which for Castle was saying something. "What's wrong?" he simply repeated, taking another step toward her.

"Nothing," she said, forcing a smile. "I'm good."

"Kate. What's wrong?"

She realized he wasn't going to drop it, and she seemed to have lost the ability to lie to him, especially when he was being so oddly sincere. It had been a weird weekend for him and she knew it, but she wanted another glimpse at the Castle she was used to. One of his cavalier quips or semi-inappropriate side comments. It wasn't that she didn't like this sweet, genuine person who stood before her; it was just that this wasn't the Castle she knew, and she didn't really know how to handle it. "I was just… remembering my mom," she told him.

He nodded, but didn't press or even ask any further questions. Who was this man, and what had he done with her Castle?

"Do you want breakfast?"

"Sure." He sounded oddly far away.

She turned away from the toaster and looked him straight in the eyes. "Castle, what?"

He frowned, not that he hadn't been frowning before. But now he looked more confused. "What?"

"What's wrong? I mean, you act like you have some kind of super power that you can tell what's going on with me, whether something's wrong, or I'm not feeling well, or whatever the case might be, and yeah, usually you're right. But what I don't think you realize is that it works both ways. I've known you for just as long as you've known me, and while, no, I'm not a writer, my job does require a certain amount of attentiveness, in case you're forgetting. And I'm surprised I have to tell you this, but you're my friend, and I notice things too. And this? This is not you. I get that you're worried about Alexis, but if that's all this is it's insane, because you know as well as I do that she'll be just fine by this time tomorrow. If not, will you please just tell me? Because you're driving me crazy."

Something in his face changed. She couldn't exactly place it, but it was like some kind of veil lifted. "I'll be right back," he murmured, stepping out of the room. She watched him disappear into his study just as the toast she'd made popped up.

She sighed. In no way could that have been construed as an answer, and of course he would leave just as the toast was finished.

* * *

_Reviews please? Thanks! :) I love you guys. And I think this is officially the shortest author's note I've ever written. Normally I like to blabber, but I think I'll leave this one alone._


	12. Chapter 12

_Sorry about the wait. It's been awhile since I updated this. I got a little distracted, which was probably particularly annoying because I left you on a cliffhanger. But at long last, Chapter 12 is done. Enjoy! And review, please? :) Thanks!_

* * *

So many thoughts and emotions had been whirling in his head all morning that it almost made him physically dizzy. Worry about Alexis. Guilt that she was sick. Happiness that Kate was here, in his house. Immeasurable pleasure that she and Alexis were getting along so well. Confusion over the new developments in his relationship with Kate, what they meant and what he was supposed to do next. Annoyance that he was still dating Gina, and concern about how best, most nobly and most efficiently, to break it off, and whether he should at all. Was his relationship with Gina really the only thing that was holding Kate back? What if he ended things with her and Kate changed her mind? Or what if he'd gotten the wrong idea, and she wasn't interested in any sort of a romantic relationship with him after all?

Apparently his overwhelm had caused him to withdraw a little, not something he was known for doing. He'd been so preoccupied with his own thoughts that he'd distanced himself from everything going on around him, and of course Kate had noticed. He should've expected that. He hadn't, but he should've. But her little rant… that he had not expected, would not have expected. It was only the second time he'd ever heard her make such a blatant admission that she cared about him, the first being the night before, right before they kissed. It had nothing to do with work, with Alexis, or with anything else for that matter. She was concerned about _him_, just him, about what it was that had him so distracted.

He realized that he hadn't actually told her anything as he closed the door to his study, and he felt a little guilty about it. Her speech had been very un-Beckett, and he knew it must have taken a lot for her to even make it, yet he still hadn't answered her. In his defense, it wasn't like there was one clear answer anyway. It was just that he had a lot on his mind, and he couldn't have really explained all of it to her even if he'd tried. Richard Castle was nothing if not impulsive, and when the brainwave came, he had to act on it. And he had to act on it _now._

The thought that had caused the impulse had gone something like this. Here was Beckett. She was gorgeous, she was brilliant, and she was in his kitchen. He cared about her, and was willing to do most anything for her. In the last day or so, she'd done so much for him and for Alexis. If she really felt about him even remotely similarly to the way he felt about her, which it was beginning to seem as though she might… then what business did he have being with any other woman?

Even as the thought flashed through his mind, it seemed to clear away a lot of the cobwebs. He felt like he had more air, more space to move. And without giving it another second of consideration, he picked up his phone and dialed.

"Oh hey Rick," she answered, "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, much better, thanks. But listen, Gina. We need to talk…"

* * *

"Okay, what's for breakfast?" he asked, bouncing back into the kitchen. Yes, that was exactly the word for what he was doing. Bouncing.

She looked at him blankly. She would've been annoyed if she wasn't so relieved, but the two feelings seemed to cancel each other out and she found that she couldn't respond at all right away. She popped the toast in for a few more seconds to warm it before turning back to face him. "Where the hell did you go?"

"My office. You're making toast? Huh. Less ambitious than the last time you cooked here."

"What were you doing?" she asked, ignoring his comment about her breakfast choice.

"Don't worry about it."

Did he really think she was going to go for that? "Castle. Come on. You're weirdly quiet all morning, then you disappear into your office for fifteen minutes and all of a sudden everything's back to normal. What changed?"

"What difference does it make? Let's eat, I'm hungry."

Part of her could see what he was saying. She'd wanted her annoying, ten-year-old Castle back, and here he was. She could feel the familiar exasperation building inside of her, but honestly, it wasn't a bad feeling. It was actually kind of refreshing. He had become a sort of escape for her. When things were getting too heavy at work, when she was a little too aware of the realities of the world around her, he reminded her not to take everything so seriously. He'd shown her that a well-placed quip could almost always lighten the mood without disrespecting the situation, and while his placement was sometimes a bit off, most of the time he kept her grounded in a way that nothing or no one else could. Sure she got frustrated with him, but it wasn't a bad kind of frustration. It was just… Castle.

But this morning, everything seemed to have gotten flipped around, and it was a little disconcerting. She didn't know the reason that he'd been so off in the first place, and now she didn't know why he was back to his carefree self, but shouldn't she just be satisfied that he was?

No, she decided. She shouldn't. He was her friend, and she wanted real answers. If he were in her shoes, he would keep pushing until she gave in and told him. And eventually, she would. But she was not Castle, and he was not her. She could wait. She might not exactly describe herself as patient, but her attention span was much longer than that of the average cocker spaniel, something that could not have been said for Castle. Rather than trying to push him until he broke, she would employ another strategy. She would wait. Maybe poke him occasionally, when the circumstances were right. Observe. Investigate. Eventually, either he would tell her what had happened, or she would figure it out for herself. Either outcome would be fine with her.

So instead of pushing, she put out two plates. "Okay, fine," she conceded, dropping the subject altogether, aware that if she acted like she didn't care it would throw him off and make him more willing to tell her. For someone who put so much thought into the workings of the minds of others, basic reverse psychology often worked surprisingly well on Castle.

He looked a little taken aback by her lack of a response, which was what she'd been hoping for, but didn't directly say anything about it. "You could've eaten, you know," he told her instead. "You didn't have to wait for me."

"I wasn't waiting for you," she lied. "It just… wasn't done yet."

"Uh-huh. Because it takes so long to make toast and pour juice." He got a couple different kinds of jelly out of the fridge and set them on the counter.

She rolled her eyes and sat in one of the stools. He took the one beside her, pushing the two plates into position. All they were doing was eating breakfast, but there was something about it that felt strangely intimate. It was just the two of them, sharing a meal, making pointedly pointless conversation, not about work, not about Alexis, not about what had happened last night. Not about anything that mattered. But still, it was nice. She found herself wishing that they did this more often. Just talked, for talking's sake. Just spent time together, for no reason other than to spend time together.

They sat there talking long after they'd finished eating. Every time the conversation lagged and one of them was about to get up, the other would think of something else to say that would keep it going, dragging the moment on for as long as possible.

But eventually the moment did have to end, and it did when Rick announced that he wanted to go check on Alexis.

Kate nodded. It had been well over an hour, approaching two. She was surprised he'd made it this long, to be honest. "You know, I should go anyway. I need to change." She looked at Alexis's sweats, a little too short for her despite that Rick had said they were long on his daughter. "Into something that's actually mine."

"No, you can't," he protested. "Alexis—"

She smiled, rolling her eyes, and interrupted him. "Alexis will be fine, and you're more than capable of taking care of her by yourself. I'm positive you've done it before."

Grudgingly, he nodded. "I know. But you have to admit, we do make a good team. And not just with solving murders, evidently. We had the whole parenting thing down pretty well, there."

She blushed at the thought of "parenting" with Castle. It was too soon, much too soon, for her to even remotely begin to think on those terms. He wasn't wrong, though. "We do make a good team," she admitted with a stiff nod.

"You're gonna say goodbye to her before you leave." It wasn't a question. It was a statement, almost a command. He'd actually said it with a surprising amount of force, his expression dead serious.

She was a little surprised, a little unsure where this had come from, but she wondered if it had something to do with what he'd told her last night, about her being one of the few women in his life he'd allowed to get close to his daughter. She also wondered if it was related at all to his preoccupation earlier, but this didn't seem like the time to ask. "Yeah, of course I will." She hadn't been planning on leaving without saying goodbye in the first place. "My stuff's upstairs anyway."

"Good," he said, his face suddenly softening. "Okay. I'm gonna go check on her now, then."

"I'll just go with you," she offered, "I'll say bye to her now."

"Good," he repeated, making his way upstairs.

She followed him, and when they got to Alexis's bedroom she was at her desk with a textbook in front of her.

"Is this why you sent us away?" Castle practically demanded. "So you could study without us bothering you?"

"Dad, I need to study," she rasped. "I have a test tomorrow."

"What you need to do is relax and focus on getting better so you can _go_ to school tomorrow."

"I'm not just gonna lay here and do nothing all day. I have stuff I need to get done. That can't all just stop."

"Yes, it can. You can relax today, watch some TV, drink that tea you like, eat soup, and start to feel better. Then tomorrow you can skip school and get caught up on your work."

"It doesn't work like that!" She grimaced. Apparently her attempted yell had hurt her throat. She continued in a loud whisper. "If I miss a day of school, I'll just be even more behind tomorrow. And no way am I skipping school if I'm better. But if I don't study and I do get better and I go to school tomorrow, I'll fail my history test."

"I'm sure you won't fail."

The panic in Alexis's eyes still building, she turned to Kate for support. She swallowed carefully as if she was preparing to say something, but Kate stepped forward, stopping her. "Hey, Alexis, don't try to talk if it hurts," she told her gently. Then she turned to the girl's father, tone just a little sharper. "Rick, get her more tea." He started to protest, but she gave him a look and he left the room without a word. Alexis gave her a smile of gratitude, which Kate returned with a roll of her eyes. "He loves you, he just gets a little carried away sometimes."

Alexis nodded. She knew this.

"I don't see any reason why you can't study, but your dad's right, you do need to relax." She remembered the promise she'd made the girl the night before, almost forgotten. "Do you still want me to help you?"

She hesitated, but then gave a tiny nod.

Kate smiled. Alexis was a sweet girl, even if she had been a little crabby lately, and it was nice to be looked up to. "That's fine, I'm happy to do it. And don't worry about your dad, I'll talk to him."

Alexis got up from her desk and went to Kate, wrapping her arms around the detective. She wasn't sure how to react at first, but it was only a second before she gave in, returning the hug. It looked like she wasn't going home right away after all.

* * *

_Adding this note at the last possible second because I wanted to mention it but forgot. About the scene at the beginning from Castle's POV... I thought about writing it this way briefly, but then decided I wasn't going to because I wanted to keep it consistent, and this whole story has primarily been from Beckett's POV. I guess not so much in the first few chapters... but lately it has been. Anyway. But then a reviewer suggested that they'd like to see something from Castle's viewpoint, so I started thinking about it again, and I thought it might work, so I started writing the scene just to see how it went... and I liked how it turned out. So here you have it. :) So, see? Sometimes reviewing pays off. I mean, it always pays off as far as leading to a very happy author, but I always seriously think about all of your suggestions, and sometimes I use them. And sometimes it turns out pretty well. :) So thanks! And yeah, I did kind of work in a shameless plea for reviews there... which wasn't my original intention, believe it or not._


	13. Chapter 13

_Yes, I am aware of the unapologetic fluffiness of this chapter. I am also aware of the disturbingly long amount of time it took me to write it. Sorry about that. This chapter just did not want to be written. But I decided I really shouldn't let my own stories boss me around and wrote it anyway. If nothing else... y'know. Filler is necessary. But hopefully there are some elements here that you actually like. :) The good news is that when I finally convinced this chapter that it had to happen, it decided it wanted to be a lot longer than I thought it should be... so for one, it's a longish chapter, and for another, I finally had to cut it off before I got to the end of what I'd written so it didn't go on forever and ever, which means that I have a pretty decent-sized chunk of the next chapter written already... which should mean that you won't have to wait nearly as long for chapter 14. Let's hope, anyway. For now... enjoy!_

"Now see, this is much better," Castle announced as he reentered the room and handed a fresh mug of tea to Alexis. His daughter was sitting at the top of her bed, legs covered by her comforter, and Kate was perched on the edge of the mattress, leafing through Alexis's history book. "The sick girl is resting, and the detective and part-time nurse is… studying history?" He raised his eyebrows as the other two rolled their eyes. "Well, the first part of the equation makes sense."

"Detective Beckett's going to help me study," Alexis whispered before sipping her tea. When she did, she made a face and looked as if she might spit it back out. But she swallowed, and then glared at her father. "Dad, what flavor _is_ this?"

"Black cherry," he responded, shrugging. "We were out of raspberry, and this seemed close. Don't you like it?"

"No." She set the cup down. "Not close."

"Well, can I get you something else?" Castle asked, looking a little frustrated.

She shrugged, and then sighed. "I'm sorry. You're both being so sweet and I'm being impossible."

It was Beckett who waved her off. "Ah, it's okay. You don't feel well, you're entitled to be a little impossible."

Alexis gave her an embarrassed smile, but then seemed to zero in on the textbook on her lap. "There should be some flashcards on my desk."

"Sweetie, I think Detective Beckett wants to go home now," Castle told his daughter. "Don't you think we've held her captive here for long enough?"

"Oh." Alexis was unable to fully mask her disappointment, although she was obviously trying. She turned to Kate. "Do you want to go? You should've told me that."

She considered for a second. "I'll tell you what," she finally said, "I promised you that I'd help you study, and I'm gonna keep that promise, but I do want to go home and do a couple of things first." Like shower and change. "Can I come back in an hour or so?"

"You're welcome here anytime," Castle told her soberly. "Take as much time as you need."

Alexis nodded her agreement, smiling.

"Good. Then I'll see you in a little while." She went back across the hall to the guest room, followed closely by Castle.

"You know, don't take this the wrong way, I'm thrilled that you're coming back, but you don't need to," he told her. "I mean, I'm sure you're sick of us by now, and you probably want some alone time before you have to go back to work tomorrow. Don't you?"

She smiled. He knew her well, and yes, normally she would. But she answered him honestly. "Not really. This is… nothing like work. Besides everyone being sick, this weekend has actually been fun. And like I said, I promised Alexis I'd help her study, and I keep my promises."

He nodded. "I thank you for that."

"Unless you're sick of me."

He raised his eyebrows. "Come on. I've been following you around for two years. If I'm not sick of you yet, I don't think it's ever going to happen."

This pleased her more than she knew it should've, and she smiled. "Good. Oh, and I also promised Alexis I'd talk to you about something."

"Shoot."

"I don't see any reason why you shouldn't let her study."

His face stiffened. Whatever he'd been expecting, this wasn't it. "She needs to relax."

"I agree, but I don't understand why she can't do both."

"Then you don't know her very well."

"No, you're right, I don't. But I'm getting to know her better, and balancing work with other stuff is actually something I know a little bit about."

He actually laughed. "You're going to teach Alexis about balance? You are the biggest workaholic I know."

"Well, that just speaks to the kinds of people you know."

"Need I remind you about Friday? You were _miserable_, and not even doing anything important, and I still couldn't get you to go home early."

"So?"

"So, if that's your idea of balance, you can keep it to yourself."

"This is different. It's not me, it's Alexis. Trust me, by tomorrow she'll be relaxed, feeling better, and ready for her test."

"Because I've seen how relaxed you are when you're working on a case."

"Castle. Solving murders and studying for a history test aren't exactly the same. Can't you just trust me?"

"I do trust you. It's just…" Whatever he'd been about to say, he seemed to change his mind. "No. I trust you. That's all."

"Good." She gathered her things and made her way downstairs, still followed by Castle. She turned toward him, raising an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

"Walking you to the door. It's polite."

"You're following me. It's creepy."

"Sorry for trying to be a gentleman."

She smirked. "Yeah, you shouldn't try to be someone you're not. But since you're here, I was going to pick up some more of that raspberry tea for Alexis. Is there anything else you want me to get?"

"No, and you don't have to do that."

"She likes it, and I'm gonna get it." Her growing fondness for the family was actually starting to overshadow her guilt for getting them sick, although the guilt probably still played a part in her over-willingness to do almost literally anything for them.

"At least let me pay for it."

She rolled her eyes. "How much is tea? I've got this, don't worry about it."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. And just give me a call if you think of anything else you want."

"Sure."

"I'm serious."

"Okay, I will." He gave her an odd little fond smile, different from the way he usually looked at her. She half-returned it, a little confused, and shook her head once she was out of his apartment, on the way to her car. What had just happened?

* * *

"Oh good, you're back," he greeted her at the door when she returned, now wearing jeans and a cute but casual v-neck sweater. "Alexis is upstairs."

"I know where Alexis is, I was just here like an hour ago."

"Well, she could've moved."

"And if she had, then it would've made sense for you to tell me where she was."

"She didn't."

"Yeah, I got that."

"You're really going to help her study?"

"Yeah, I really am."

"What do you know about American history?"

"I'm sure I remember some of it, and she said she made flashcards, so I won't really have to know very much."

"Tell me again why you're doing this?"

She shrugged. "Because I said I would, mostly. Alexis is a sweet girl. She was worried about it, so I asked her if she wanted me to help her, and she said she'd like that, so I'm going to." This was all true. And then there was the added bonus that by spending time with Alexis, she might be able to get a little more insight into what Castle had been doing in his study earlier. But he didn't need to know that part.

"You've been so good to her lately."

She started toward the kitchen, blushing a little. She didn't know how she was supposed to respond to that, and couldn't really see much point in trying.

Apparently he guessed her purpose from the direction she was moving. "Oh, did you get that tea?"

She nodded, taking the box out of her purse and showing it to him. "It's the same kind from that variety pack you had, but it's just the raspberry. So she should like it."

"She will love it. Why don't you go ahead up. I'll make it and bring it up when it's done. Do you want anything?"

She handed him the box. "Oh no, I'm fine. Thanks for the offer, though."

"Well, you are my guest," he said, his trademark boyish grin covering his face. "It's only polite."

"Oh, it's the attempted gentleman again," she teased, smirking. "What did I tell you about that?"

"_Attempted_ gentleman? Beckett, you have been in law enforcement for far too long."

She raised her eyebrows at him before going upstairs. The second floor of his loft, which only a day ago had been uncharted territory for her, was beginning to feel familiar. She walked the length of the hallway to Alexis's room without even having to pause to think about which door it was. She knocked and then opened the door, finding Alexis sitting on her bed, much the way she'd left her, a textbook in her lap. "Hey," she greeted the girl simply.

"Oh, hey Det—" she stopped, catching herself, "Kate. You came back."

"Yeah, of course I did. I said I would, didn't I? I'm a woman of my word."

Alexis smiled. "Well, I'm glad you did." She patted the place on her bed where Kate had taken to sitting. "Sit down."

She did. "You sound a little better."

Alexis gestured to the mug on the nightstand beside her. "It's the tea. It helps for a little while, but as soon as I stop drinking it…"

Beckett nodded. "Yeah. Got it. I still think you're getting better, though. Better than you were, anyway."

She nodded, taking another sip of her tea. "It's peach, by the way," she said, a small smile crossing her lips. "I remember you said it was good, so I figured I'd try it. And you're right, it is good. But the raspberry's still my favorite."

Kate grinned. "Well, I'm glad you found another flavor you like. And I brought you some more of the raspberry, actually. Your dad's making you a cup now. He'll bring it up when it's done."

"Aw, Kate, you didn't have to do that."

She rolled her eyes. "This seems to be a common theme lately. I know I didn't. I wanted to." She started digging through the fairly large purse she'd brought with her. "I brought you something else, too." The purse choice had been intentional, because she knew that if she came in with a bag that obviously had more than just tea in it Castle would've been weird about it, and probably would've tried to pay her back again. She'd rather this just be between her and Alexis. She found the flat rectangular box she'd been looking for and handed it to the girl.

Alexis beamed, reading the DVD case. "_Say Anything. _Thanks, that's so sweet."

She shrugged. "You fell asleep before you got to see the end, and I thought you might want to. If you didn't like it you don't have to watch it, but it was one of my favorites when I was about your age, so I thought maybe."

"I will definitely watch it. I'm sorry I fell asleep, but I promise it wasn't because I didn't like the movie. It was good."

"Well, I'm glad you liked it. And now you can watch the rest of it whenever you have time."

"I'm looking forward to it."

She smiled. She hadn't been sure about giving Alexis the DVD, not wanting to force her tastes on someone who hadn't even been born yet when the movie was made and really wasn't interested, but she'd ultimately decided that Alexis didn't seem like she was that kind of teenager, and was glad that her judgment seemed to be correct. "Good." She saw Alexis starting to refocus on her textbook, and remembered her ulterior motive. "Hey, before we really get into studying here, can I talk to you about something?"

* * *

_ Yeah, I know. I would end it there. And guess what? I did. It's really just a little bit of a cliffhanger. I mean, Beckett even told you what she wants to talk to Alexis about. So it's not that bad. It's a little cliff. Even if you jumped off, you'd probably be able to land on your feet. Like a cat. But don't jump off. Just give me a couple of days and I'll let you down. Honestly, I will. Er, crap. Bad metaphor. Hopefully I WON'T let you down. But I will at least get you off that lame excuse for a cliff._


	14. Chapter 14

_DON'T JUMP! If you already did, gee you're impatient. It didn't take me _that _long, although it did take longer than I was hoping it would. But like I said, the cliff wasn't that high, so you're probably okay. Most likely. If you waited patiently on the edge of the cliff like I asked you to, you're awesome. Here's a ladder. Oh, forget the ladder, we'll make it a staircase. You know what? Because you guys are so awesome, I'll go all-out. Make it an elevator. In the form of a fluff-infested, semi-plotless chapter in which what was supposed to be a fairly short scene tried to take over the world. Maybe one day I'll learn to outline. But I wouldn't hold my breath for that._

_It makes me happy that a lot of you apparently like my rambling author's notes. They amuse me, so I'm glad they amuse some other people also. Umm, okay, you can read now. I have a couple more quick notes, but I'll put them at the end so I'm not giving anything away._

* * *

Alexis snapped her head up from her book with a half-frown. "Yeah, definitely. What is it?"

But, fortunately before Kate started speaking, Castle appeared in the doorway, fresh cup of tea in his hand. "Hey sweetie," he said in a voice that would've interrupted any conversation that had been going on anyway, "Beckett brought you some more of that raspberry tea that you like." He handed her the cup. "Wasn't that nice?"

Alexis raised an eyebrow at her father, but then smiled at Kate genuinely. "Yeah, it was really nice. Thanks."

She nodded to acknowledge Alexis, but then couldn't help jerking Castle's chain a bit. "'Wasn't that nice?' Seriously, Castle? I'm really not used to seeing you in Dad mode. It's actually kind of creepy."

"To that extreme?" Alexis muttered, "Yeah, neither am I."

He scowled at his daughter. "Alexis, there's really no point in saying things under your breath when everyone in the room can still hear you."

Beckett laughed. "See, that's more like the kind of fatherly advice I would've expected."

He gave her a look that looked like it was aiming to say he was not amused, but the fact that he also looked like he was fighting back a laugh made it fall very, very short. But without actually making any further comment, he turned to his daughter. "How are you feeling, sweetie?"

She rolled her eyes. "No different than I was when you asked me that twenty minutes ago."

"Castle," Beckett told him, in the same manner that she did when they were at work and he was being annoying, with a nod toward the door. "We have studying to do."

"Wow, fine," he said, dramatically feigning offense. "Since I can see I'm not wanted here, I have some writing to do anyway. I need to start typing what I wrote at your place the other night."

"Great. Get to it."

He shot them another overdramatized pout before exiting, closing the door behind him.

As soon as he was gone, Alexis whispered, "He's driving me crazy."

Kate rolled her eyes. "I can't say I blame you there. Is he always this… protective?"

She shook her head. "I mean yeah, about certain things, but this is weird. I guess I haven't really been sick in years, so maybe I just don't remember, but some of this is definitely not normal. Like that thing about how you bringing the tea was nice… which it was by the way, but that's just not something he would normally say. And you know that, you called him on it."

"Yeah, turns out I know your dad pretty well."

"Well, of course you do. Sometimes I think you see more of him than I do."

"I'm sure that's not true. But he is acting weird. That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. This morning he was really… out of it. I don't know if you noticed."

"Sort of. I know what you mean."

"Yeah. But then we were getting ready to have breakfast and he went to his study for… fifteen, twenty minutes, and then when he came back it was like everything was back to normal."

She frowned. "Weird."

"Do you have any idea what he might've been doing?"

Alexis smiled a little. "Is this how you talk to witnesses when you're trying to get information?"

Beckett laughed. She hadn't thought of that. "Yeah, actually. Witnesses, family and friends of the victim… same tactics. Why, do you think it's working?"

She raised her eyebrows, eyes widening a little. "God yeah, you're like scary good. I just feel like I'm being investigated."

"Sorry. I'll try to tone it down a little. It's just… it's what I do. It's hard to turn it off sometimes."

"It's okay, I'm just not used to talking to cops."

"That's a good thing, I think."

"True. But I think I could get used to talking to you."

Beckett smiled. "Anyway, what do you think he was doing?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. He usually writes in his study… maybe he was writing?"

She frowned. "That doesn't really make sense."

Alexis shook her head. "No. Well, what was he doing before he went in there? Were you talking?"

"Kind of. He was being distant so I asked him why, and then he left and said he'd be right back."

"Huh. I don't know." But Alexis's face betrayed more than she did. She was smiling a little as she took another sip of her tea.

Beckett, of course, didn't miss it. What kind of a detective would she be if she had? "Don't you?" She tried to smile a little, remembering what Alexis had said about her being in work mode and not wanting the girl to feel like she was being interrogated, but she could still tell she was coming across more harshly than she wanted. Her detective mode was effective. When she wanted answers she knew how to get them, but she couldn't help sounding a little like a cop. It was a big part of who she was.

"I really don't know what he was doing in his study," Alexis quickly insisted, a little startled. She was right, she had come on a little too strong. She hadn't meant to freak Alexis out. She gave her a quick apologetic smile, which the girl seemed to understand, and relaxed a little before continuing. "But I do kind of have a theory about why he's been acting so weird."

Beckett frowned. "A theory? Okay, let's hear it."

Alexis actually blushed, which seemed strange. "Uh, okay," she stuttered. She tried to clear her throat but then made a face, squeezing her eyes shut, and leaned back against her bed's headboard.

Kate actually felt herself soften, her detective mode stepping back a pace or two. "Yeah, you shouldn't do that," she advised. "It hurts. And it doesn't do much good."

"Yeah, I got that," she whispered, eyes still closed. Finally she exhaled and took another sip of her tea.

She tentatively put her hand on Alexis's. "I hope you feel better soon."

Alexis sighed. "Me too."

"So… your theory?"

"Right." But then she pulled back again. "I mean, it's just a theory…"

Beckett smiled. "Alexis, what?"

"Well, there's really only one variable that's different from every other day."

"And… what's that?" She could think of more than one variable without trying very hard, so she had no idea what Alexis's point might be.

She blushed again and spoke in a small voice, even considering that she was hoarse to begin with. "You."

Beckett raised an eyebrow. "How? Like you said, I see him almost every day."

"Yeah, but not like this. Here? Away from work, and for this long?" A grin spread across the teenager's face. "Plus you kissed last night."

Kate groaned. "Why did I tell you that, again?"

"I can be very persuasive."

"Apparently. But even if you're right, why would that make him act weird?"

"I think he's trying to impress you."

That made absolutely no sense. "What?"

She shrugged, gaining confidence. "You're different from the women he's used to. You're not impressed by the same things. You know, money, fame, material stuff… So I think he's trying out some different angles. Trying to look like a model father, for example."

She thought about that for a second, and then let out a little "hm" sound. "That's really insightful. Do you think that's what it is?"

"I mean yeah, I think it at least has something to do with it. Not that he isn't actually worried about me. I'm sure he is, even though I'm fine. He's just like that. It's kind of annoying."

"It's the parent thing. He can't help it."

"Yeah, well, whatever it is. But I think if you weren't here he'd be a little less… I don't know, insistent."

"But why would he do that? It's not like I don't already know him. I know what he's like."

"Yeah, but you don't usually see him at home." She shrugged. "Like I said, it's just a theory."

Beckett considered the theory further. She knew she'd told Castle before that she liked seeing him with Alexis. That she was so used to seeing him act like a child that it was refreshing to see him as a father. Would he have tried to take that to a new level for her benefit? Maybe, but there was one thing that wasn't accounted for. "But why would he be trying so hard to impress me when he's still with Gina?"

Alexis literally rolled her eyes. "If he even is still with her, he won't be for very long. I'm honestly surprised he didn't call her right after you guys kissed."

"He said he would. I told him not to."

"Why?"

"Because ending a relationship over the phone… it sucks."

Alexis's eyes seemed to widen a bit, became sympathetic. She understood. "Is that how you—"

She nodded.

"Oh. Sorry."

"No, it's okay." She shrugged. "What's done is done. I'm not really that upset about it. And being here, taking care of you two… I think that distraction helped a lot."

"I'm glad we could help, although I wish the circumstances were different." Alexis puckered her lips and shifted them to one side before continuing her thought. "I'm sorry if I was difficult."

Kate smiled. "You know, I can tell you're feeling better, because last night I really don't think you cared."

The little smile that Alexis gave had no actual happiness in it, just guilt and embarrassment. "I'm sorry!"

But Kate waved her off. "Nah, don't be sorry. You're fine. I'm just happy I could help."

"I'm glad you were here," Alexis whispered, but she was obviously thinking of something else. Her eyes were far away. She smiled. "I wonder if that's what he was doing?"

Beckett snapped right back to the conversation they'd strayed away from, although she didn't quite lapse back into full detective mode. "Your dad? What?"

"Do you think he called Gina?"

"No," she said automatically, simply because she hadn't even remotely considered that as an option. "He wouldn't have… would he?"

"I don't know. Maybe. It makes sense, doesn't it?"

"Not really." She didn't like the idea that talking to Gina, for whatever reason, could've made him so much happier.

"No, think about it. He breaks up with her—"

She cut Alexis off. "Breaks _up_ with her?" Given what Alexis had said just minutes before, she should've seen this coming, but she hadn't.

"Yeah. I mean, okay, you told him not to, but he's not always the best listener."

She almost laughed. "That I know. But why would he have done that?"

"Come on. Because of you."

If she'd been talking to Lanie or Esposito or anyone else, really, she would've made some comment about how egotistical it would be for him to assume that just because she was no longer with Josh, she would be interested in Castle, but she was talking to his daughter. It just didn't feel like the right thing to say, although it was the first thing that came to her mind. After working with Castle for so long, she'd had to field plenty of comments, insinuations, and questions about her relationship with him, and she'd developed a method with which to handle them. It rarely varied. Biting sarcasm. Of course not. They worked together, and she had no interest in anything more. But she wasn't even sure this was true anymore, and even if it was, it wasn't the attitude she wanted to take with his daughter, the girl who was nothing but sweet. The girl who looked up to her in a way that no one else ever had before. The girl who was obviously rooting for some kind of romantic involvement between Kate and her father.

Having made a conscious decision not to say the first thing that came into her mind, she had to take a second to formulate another response. But try as she might, she couldn't come up with anything that seemed both appropriate and true, and she felt her face starting to heat up.

It was Alexis who finally broke the slightly awkward silence. "Remember last night when I asked you to think about it?" she asked Kate quietly. "Did you?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I've thought about it."

Alexis waited for more, and then raised her eyebrows when she realized it wasn't coming. "And?"

She shrugged. "Still thinking." She patted the history book in Alexis's lap definitively, changing the subject. "We should get to studying, shouldn't we? You have work to do."

* * *

_Okay, one:__ Yes, the dynamic between Castle and Beckett is changing a little. That's intentional, I didn't just completely forget what I was doing. Things are starting to go back to normal, so the way they interact is going back to normal as well._

___And two: I think this story will probably be wrapped up in the next chapter or two. Just a heads-up. I have some other things that I'm working on that I'd like to be able to put more focus on, plus this is already... about 9 chapters longer than I originally intended (again with the not outlining thing... these things happen) and I don't want to over-stretch it. So I can't be positive, but I'm planning on one more chapter, or two if it gets away from me._

___I'm not under any sort of delusion that this is one of my better chapters. It is not. But I still loooove your reviews, and remember, I built you an elevator... :)_


	15. Chapter 15

Beckett couldn't remember the last time she'd been so distracted. She was trying to type up a report for the case she'd worked on Saturday, but she'd managed to write exactly one sentence. Her glance kept shifting from the clock to the doorway to the phone. And then back to the clock. It was almost ten a.m. Where was he? When she'd left his apartment the evening before, he'd said on no uncertain terms that he'd see her tomorrow. It was tomorrow. Why wasn't he here yet?

She'd enjoyed spending time with his family the day before, but she had needed some time alone to think things over. So she'd stayed for dinner (why not? She ate alone most nights and was enjoying the change of pace) but then went home immediately afterward. And after hours of careful consideration, she'd come to a decision.

This weekend, they'd both proven how far they were willing to go for the other. She no longer had any doubt that, whatever he might say or do, at the end of the day, he'd be there for her. She was ready to trust him. She was ready for Richard Castle.

But until he showed up, this realization meant nothing, and apparently she wouldn't be able to fully concentrate on anything until he did. Although she wasn't sure how much of this was because she was anxious and how much of it was because she'd been putting off getting her second cup of coffee, waiting for him to bring it to her.

She'd just made the decision to give in to the second part and get her own coffee from the break room when a Starbucks cup slid across her desk, coming to a stop right in front of her.

She smiled at him. She'd been watching for him all morning. Of course he'd manage to show up in the five seconds that she wasn't paying attention. "Starbucks, huh?" was all she said. "Fancy."

"Oh yeah, I pulled out all the stops."

"How's Alexis?"

"She's good. She's at school."

"Good, good. You were a little late this morning, so I thought maybe…"

"Oh. No. She's good. My mother got home this morning."

"Ah. That's good. How did her audition go?"

"She got the part," he said with a little smile. "But now we're dealing with a very self-satisfied diva."

She laughed. "That's great." As they ran out of small-talk, she felt her heart rate accelerate. She couldn't put this off forever. "Hey, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Yeah, absolutely."

She led him to a nearby interview room, pulling the door closed behind him and sitting down on the table in the center. He sat down beside her, turning so that he could face her. "So, ah, this weekend," she said, trying to figure out where to begin.

"Interesting by all accounts." He was word playing, his way of showing he was listening without stepping on whatever it was that she was trying to say.

Unfortunately, he was also not helping her to get to her point. "I… enjoyed it."

"Yeah, you told me that yesterday. I'm glad." He smiled. Like he was getting some kind of perverse pleasure from watching her squirm.

She sighed, making the decision that she was done giving him _that _kind of pleasure. This wasn't her, anyway. Squirm she would not. "I'm ready, Castle," she told him, exuding a kind of confidence she wished she actually felt.

"You're ready," he repeated.

She nodded. He knew what she was talking about… didn't he?

"For?" he asked. Apparently he didn't. Or he did, and he was just trying to torture her.

"You," she blurted. _Oh God. Did I really just say that?_ She felt her face heat up. "Uh, us." _Crap._

She wished he looked less amused. But that was the only word she could think of to describe the look on his face. Amused. "Would you like to go to dinner tonight?" he asked. "After work?"

She internally cursed. Why did he have to be so suave when she was such a spaz? Not that she was normally a spaz. But for some reason, he, or the whole situation, brought out some kind of internal awkwardness that had been in remission since she was a teenager. But she smiled at the invitation anyway. "I'd love to." Although the issue that had bothered her over the weekend still wouldn't leave her mind. "But what about Gina?"

He shook his head. "No longer a concern." He didn't look upset as he said it, but he didn't smile either.

She nodded. "When?"

He shrugged. "Yesterday. What difference does it make?"

She remembered Alexis's theory and couldn't help smiling a little. "When we were in the kitchen and you ran off to your office… is that what you were doing?"

"What difference does it make?" he repeated, but she could see it on his face. That was exactly what he'd been doing.

"I told you not to do that," she said, but she found that she couldn't really be angry with him for this. First of all, it was a little flattering that he'd been so interested in her that he'd felt the need to literally drop what he was doing and go break up with Gina. And besides that, she'd never much liked Gina. However the method, she couldn't help but be glad that Rick was no longer with her.

"Yeah, but I couldn't work out why," he told her with a shrug. "So I did it anyway. And you don't look terribly upset."

She shook her head, smiling. "I'm sure I'm just as upset as you were when I told you Josh and I broke up."

"I think less. _You _were upset then. And I don't much like it when you're upset." She was positive that he was closer to her now than he had been when they'd sat down, but she wasn't sure how it had happened. She remembered neither moving toward him nor seeing him move toward her. So how was his face now only inches from hers?

She could see him moving closer now, and she wanted to let him. She could still remember the feeling of his lips on hers, and she wanted to feel it again. But she was painfully aware of the big plate glass windows that gave the entire bullpen a clear view of the two of them, and knew that Ryan and Esposito, as well as several other curious detectives, were watching their every move. "Don't," she simply whispered, nodding to the windows.

"Oh, come on. Why? They're detectives. They're going to figure it out anyway. Why hide it?" He brushed his lips against her cheek as he whispered, "I don't want to hide it."

He had a point. Lanie and Esposito hadn't been able to hide their relationship, and they weren't even together at work most of the time. If she and Castle were going to make the leap, which it certainly looked like they were… was there even any point in trying to hide it? She bit her bottom lip as the smile spread across her face.

Sometimes it took her a little while to warm up to new ideas, but once she had she was all in, for better or for worse. She'd managed to convince herself that giving it a try with Castle was worth the risk, and the whole situation, being with him, was sounding better by the minute. True, if her colleagues knew, she'd never hear the end of it. But really, at this point, did she care?

"Let's just go over a few ground rules," she told him.

He frowned, not sure where she was going with this, but nodded. "Okay…"  
"No PDA when we're at work."

He picked up his iPhone and looked at it sadly.

She raised her eyebrows. "That's not what I mean and you know it. No kissing, no hugging, no holding hands. No touching anything that you wouldn't normally. No flirting or making inappropriate comments at crime scenes." She wasn't fooling herself that most of this was going to work. He'd done some of it even before today, when there really hadn't been anything more than friendship between them. "I can't have you distracting me, Castle," she told him soberly. "If this is going to be a problem, we're either going to have to go back to the way it was before, or you're going to have to stop shadowing me."

He nodded, his face serious. "I'll be good, I promise."

"Good." But then she dropped her businesslike front entirely, a mischievous spark glinting in her eyes. "But I will make one exception."

Castle's face lit up. He liked exceptions. "What?"

She shrugged. "You're right. They're going to be talking about us anyway. What do you say we really give them something to talk about?"

"I like where this is going."

She scooted off the table and nodded for him to follow, and with her hand on his shoulder, guided him to a position in front of the pane of glass that would give any observers an unobstructed view. Then she centered herself in front of him and leaned forward. He took her lead and their lips met.

This kiss was even better than their first. There was less restraint, more passion. She let down all her barriers and fully let him in: into her life, her heart, and her mouth. And it wasn't scary. It wasn't embarrassing. It was just _fun_.

She let her lips linger on his for a long moment, not pulling away until it felt right. When the moment finally did end, she looked out the window and into the precinct. They had an audience, alright. Ryan and Esposito both gaped, open-mouthed, from the desk that belonged to neither of them where they'd been pretending to work as they spied—her desk, she realized with a twinge of annoyance. And they weren't the only ones. It seemed like all the detectives who could see the window from where they stood were looking, with expressions that ranged from shock to confusion to joy. She smiled, and Castle actually took a bow.

She took his hand and they walked back out into the bullpen together, meeting actual applause from the detectives who'd been watching. She rolled her eyes, but even if she'd tried she wouldn't have been able to wipe the smile from her face. This had been a long time coming, and they all knew it.

Even Captain Montgomery, noticing that something was going on, had appeared at his office's doorway shaking his head, but smiling. "Okay, can we all get back to work now?" he asked as the applause died down.

"Sorry, sir," Beckett said. But she wasn't. Not really. She knew all too well how hard the detectives at the twelfth's homicide unit worked on a daily basis. A little distraction every once in awhile was a welcome event. Plus she was in much too good a mood to actually be sorry. "Show's over," she announced, sitting down at her desk. Castle took his usual seat beside it.

The captain went back into his office and the detectives dispersed, resuming their various activities. Except Ryan and Esposito. They gathered in front of her desk, Ryan's jaw still slack, Esposito's eyes darting from her to him and back, uncomprehending.

"Guys," she said after a moment of stunned silence, "if you're not going to say anything, why don't you get back to work?"

"You guys… finally…" Ryan stuttered.

"Congratulations," Esposito managed with a smile before clapping his partner on the shoulder and leading him back to his own desk.

* * *

_I actually managed to get this chapter finished pretty quickly. So that's exciting, I guess. My classes start again tomorrow, so I'm trying to get as much as possible done before that. I thought I was going to close the story with this chapter, and I could... but with the way I ended it (not much of an ending, really...) I think I'm going to write one more. Just to kind of close things up. And then that'll be it! For right now, I hope you liked it! Reviews, please? And thanks!_


	16. Chapter 16

_Just so you guys know, the Lanie scene was a product of popular demand. To be perfectly honest, I kind of forgot about her. Fortunately you guys didn't. And it's a good thing, because without it this chapter wouldn't have been nearly long enough. So thank you again, awesome reviewers! :)_

_As promised, this is the last chapter. I have sooo many mixed feelings about this and I'm going to blather a bit. So, fair warning. This was my first multi-chapter Castle story, and yeah, I'm attached to it. It's more than a little sad to see it end. But at the same time, I'm excited that I actually managed to finish a story. I'm the kind of writer that's good at coming up with ideas for stories and starting them... but not so good at following through. I have tons of stories on my laptop, as well as my computer at home, that I started but abandoned. My attention span is short. I think that the last time I actually did finish a multi-chapter story was something like three years ago. So the fact that I actually did manage to wrap it up and that I'm actually happy with the ending... it's big. And I owe so much to all of you, especially those of you who've reviewed. You make me want to keep writing._

_Another good thing is that finishing this will give me some time and space to work on some other stories I have going. There's one in particular that I started, but I've been waiting to post until this one was done, just because I don't want to have too many different things going at once. Then I start getting confused between stories... and it's just bad. So in case you're interested, the new story will be called "Daylight" and the first chapter will probably go up either tonight or tomorrow afternoon. If you're really interested, I have little blurbs in my profile about all the stories I'm working on, and I'm going to update them as soon as I'm done posting this, so they'll be current._

_Okay. Back to the story you're actually reading right now. This chapter was really fun to write. I tend to listen to music that fits the mood of what I'm writing to keep me focused and to help me get the tone right, so when I was writing this (the second part, mostly...) I got to listen to lots of happy, sappy love songs, which was fun just on its own. And I always enjoy writing Lanie. She's a fun character. So I REALLY hope you like this chapter, since it's the last one, and I hope you'll review and let me know! Thanks so much!_

* * *

The text from Lanie had come at a ridiculously inopportune time. As always, the period of time that she didn't have a case had been short, and as soon as they arrived back at the precinct from a new crime scene her phone started going off. "Get down here NOW," the M.E. had written simply.

So before she'd even had the chance to write anything on the murder board, she was on her way to the morgue with Castle in tow.

"How could you have found something so quickly?" she asked Lanie as soon as she spotted her, not bothering with any form of actual greeting. "I'm surprised the body's even here yet." She looked at the woman on the table and frowned. "That's not even my vic."

"No, this isn't about a body." Lanie raised her eyebrows threateningly at her friend. "At least, not yet. Castle, get out of here."

The look on his face was akin to a puppy who'd just been hit with a newspaper. "Why?"

"Because if I have to hurt her, I don't want any witnesses."

Castle was defiant, but with a combination of force and logic (one, Lanie wasn't actually going to hurt her, and two, even if she tried, Beckett was well trained in self-defense and could take her) Beckett managed to shoo him out of the room and was finally left alone with her friend. Well, alone if you didn't count the dead woman on the table. "Lanie, what's this about?" she asked. "And can you make it quick? Because I have a case to get back to."

"What's this _about?_" Lanie repeated impatiently. "Beckett, is there something you forgot to tell me?"

"You're gonna have to help me out here. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Making out in the interrogation room? And you don't think I'm going to hear about that?"

"We weren't _making out_," she protested, rolling her eyes.

Lanie tipped her chin down raised her eyebrows.

Beckett smiled. "Okay, we kinda were. Did Esposito tell you?"

"I don't think I'm at liberty to say. But the point is that _you_ didn't tell me. Don't you think your best friend has the right to know certain things? Like who you're making out with in front of the entire homicide unit?"

"It's not like I planned it. It just sort of happened."

"Oh, I see," Lanie fired back, tone dripping with sarcasm. "It just sort of happened. And you couldn't have called to _tell me_ it just sort of happened? I don't like being the last person to know things, Beckett. Especially when those things involve my best friend and her love life. And speaking of which, last I heard you were still with Josh."

"We broke up. Saturday."

"Saturday. _Two days_ ago, and you're already hooking up with writer boy? Don't get me wrong, it's been a long time coming, but two days and you never bothered to tell me?"

"I'm sorry, I've just been busy. And we didn't _hook up_, we just kissed."

"_Just _kissed. Still pretty big news coming from a couple of people who've been completely denying their feelings for two years. So what now?"

"We're going to dinner tonight after work." She couldn't help but smile. She and Castle were actually going to dinner. And not just to grab burgers on the way home. A real date.

Lanie's face softened. Irritated or not, she was still a romantic. "Look how happy you are," she said, reaching out her hand to touch her friend's arm. "I'm so glad. Where are you going?"

"What does that matter? We haven't talked about it yet."

"I'm just saying, that man is loaded. If he's paying, you might as well go someplace nice."

"We're going after work, so it probably won't be anywhere too fancy."

"Well, I'm sure he'll let you go home and change first."

"Lanie. I don't know where we're going, okay?"

"Okay, jeez. But you'd better call me and give me details."

"I'll call you tonight."

"Or maybe tomorrow," she said pointedly, with a little smirk.

Beckett rolled her eyes. "I will call you."

"You'd better," Lanie called as Beckett started toward the door, "or the next body on this table is going to be yours."

"I doubt they'd let you do the autopsy if you killed me."

"Have a little faith. No one would know it was me."

"I'm gonna go back to work now," she said, pushing open the doors, "if that's okay with you."

"Yeah yeah, enjoy. But do _not _leave me out of the loop like this again," she warned as Beckett left, meeting a very confused Castle outside of the doors.

* * *

Kate Beckett paced around her small apartment, trying to squash down her nerves. Lanie had been right. She'd gone home to change, and then Castle was coming to pick her up for their date. Their _date_. She couldn't get used to that thought, as often as she'd thought it in the past few hours.

She couldn't figure out why she was nervous, either. It wasn't like she was someone who got nervous easily. As a cop, she couldn't afford to be that kind of person. But she hadn't been like that even before she became a cop. She'd always been fairly confident in dating situations. And she saw Castle almost daily. She'd spent most of the weekend with him. He'd been to her apartment, and she'd been to his. They knew each other well. So why in the world were there butterflies—actual goddamn butterflies—in her stomach now?

Three years ago, she would never have believed that she'd one day be dating Richard Castle. For so many years, her only connection with the man had been through his books. She'd immersed herself in the sheer detail of each book he wrote, and when she finished she'd make a small note on her calendar, reminding her when the next book would be released. More than any other author she'd read, his books rang true to her life. They helped her to understand the motives of the people she despised most, which didn't make her despise them any less, but it did make it a little easier to sleep at night. They helped her to get through some of her toughest moments. They helped her to validate some of the choices she'd made in her life.

But from the first time they'd met, she'd felt something more than admiration for his writing. As much as he'd annoyed her, there had been some sort of undeniable chemistry between the two of them. She'd denied it anyway of course, denied it for two whole years. But now… now all of that was changing.

Who would ever have thought that getting sick would be the thing that would give her the final push, that would show her how much he really cared for her—and she cared for him? It was such an ordinary event. Everyone got sick from time to time. It was a fact of life, and a rather unpleasant one, actually. How had it become such a turning point?

Her doorbell rang and the butterflies, which had begun to land, started flapping again with renewed vigor. _Calm down_, she told herself. _It's just Castle._

She opened the door and found that, for once, what she was trying to tell herself was accurate. It was just Castle. Actually seeing him, a little more dressed up than he would've been at work but still very much _Castle_, relaxed her considerably.

"You look absolutely beautiful," he told her, handing her the bouquet of flowers he was holding. It was fairly simple, but it made her smile.

"Thanks," she said, nodding for him to come in. "Let me just find a vase for these and we'll go."

"Alexis wanted me to tell you thanks for helping her study," he said as she filled the vase she found with water. "She says she thinks she did well on her test."

"I'm sure she did, she knew that stuff backwards and forwards." She trimmed about an inch from the stem of each flower and set them in the vase. "She's a smart kid."

"She also wanted me to tell you that she and Ash are going to watch that movie you gave her tonight."

She smiled. "Aw, I'm glad."

"You ready?"

She nodded. "We're really doing this, huh?"

He looped his arm through hers and led her to the door. "We're really doing this." They got to the door and she closed it behind them. "And I'm driving."

She laughed. "I can live with that."

As she got into his car, she no longer felt any nervousness at all. They'd known each other for so long, were so familiar with each other's nuances, that it really bore very little resemblance to a first date, besides the flowers and the fact that he was driving. And both of those were elements that she could get used to.

"So, we're not at work," he reasoned as he started the car. "Do you have any more rules about public displays of affection for me?"

She bit her lip, thinking, as a smile lit her face. "Just one. Don't hold back."

* * *

_One last thank you for all of your support with this story! It means a lot. Okay, I'm done being sentimental now. I swear._


End file.
